THE POEMS SERIES: THE SECOND VERSE

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)

BREAKING BENJAMIN
Breaking Benjamin
Like I broke the bank
Of childhood dreams,
Of pennies and pins,
Of lost buttons and paper wraps,
I broke the Benjamin,
The loss of Snow White’s heart.

Devoured
Like stardust in the darkened sky,
Upon the lampshade’s final demise,
Shall we Recall the
Seven little dwarfs,
Seven little sins,
As I broke the Benjamin
Of Alice’s Wonderland dreams.

COMMENTARY
SIDE NOTE: AUTHOR’S COMMENT
This poem is a recent addition to my collection and it is fairly simple to explain. I was inspired to write this poem when I watched a short clip from the anime 91 Days and I was warmed by the things that kids keep as treasures, especially in a treasure chest. For anyone who has ever buried or thought of burying things in a box as a kid, these items often locked away in treasure chests are usually silly objects with lots of heart and attachment which their owners want to keep forever. So found I appropriate to use that angle for this poem since it resonated with the theme I wanted to explore.

Usually, I name my poems before I start writing them, something about giving a name to something gives it a purpose to exist, at least in my mind. So I had the title “Breaking Benjamin” as a reference to the first bible story that resonated with me as a kid and the name Benjamin is catchy name I have loved for years. So I chose to go with the name and work my way up from there.

I also added elements of fairy-tales like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs because I felt it had a similar thread to the theme of the corruption of innocence (as seen in the scene of Snow White eating the poisoned apple). I also included Alice in Wonderland, another fairy-tale, to serve as a Utopia for childlike creativity and wonder.

So the creation process was as follows: inspiration by the scene (in the anime), the creation of the poem and inclusion of selective elements influenced by my childhood tastes (that is the choice of fairy-tales) with strict adherence to the central theme I was going for.
So these are my thought processes while writing the poem.

THE CENTRAL MESSAGE.
The central message of this poem is the loss of childlike wonder and innocence. The main character is the narrator who tells the story of how he brought about the death of (someone’s) childhood as well as the overarching tone of remorse he feels for something that cannot undone.

PROGRESSIVE THEMES IN THE POEM.
The main theme of this poem as said before is the loss of innocence accompanied with the feelings of remorse from the main character which serves a subtle tone throughout the poem. The poem explores the death of childhood characterized as breaking the bank childhood dreams and stripping away the whimsy of fairy-tale stories like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Alice in Wonderland (the hallmark of childhood wonder and curiosity), all from the perspective of an individual.

As I previously explained in the author’s notes, the origin of the poem is very an important aspect, especially its development, because it does a lot to explain the reasoning behind the central message. The poem does touch on sensitive subject matters and can be criticized for its approach, which could be easily misinterpreted, especially in our current society.

However, the intent of this poem does differ from any physicality in real life and is not to be understood in the literal sense. As the main crux of the poem is the narrator, he is to be view as an ethereal entity, like the antagonist Krampus, a mythological figure who is the opposite of the popular figure, Santa Claus.

He is modelled as the force representing Reality and phase that children must go through to become adults. His approach is the harsh bittersweet departure from childhood/adolescence into the mature adulthood and the necessary break from the childlike and naive illusion that children are sheltered with from birth. More along the lines of telling a child that Santa Claus does not exist or the tooth-fairy was actually dad putting money under the pillow. Regardless, he is an entity that serve the purpose of explaining the growth of a child from the innocence phrase to adulthood from the perspective of the entity himself.

Another aspect of the poem to consider is the inclusion of fairy-tales and the concept of a treasure chest or in this case, a piggy bank. Throughout the poem, these elements are included to foster the feeling of loss and deflection to the reader, which also serves into the narrative of an action (or actions) being performed by the narrator.
Hence, the elements explained above should be considered to fully enhance the experience of the poem.

IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS
There are only two stanzas in the poem, both reinforcing the main theme with reference to childhood objects, fairy tales and loss. In the first stanza, there is a heavy reliance on imagery and word association to carry out the intent of the story, as seen as follows:

01-Breaking Benjamin: A reference to breaking a piggy bank or something precious to someone
02-Like I broke the bank: reinforcing message of the previous line and a build-up to the next action
03-Of childhood dreams: the bases of the central theme
04-Of pennies and pins; An allegory to childhood items and treasures
05-Of lost buttons and paper wraps: Another allegory to childhood items and treasures
06-I broke the Benjamin: reaffirming the context of verses 01-05 and a setup for the next intent
07-The loss of Snow White’s heart: a tragic spin on the fairy-tale which plays to the theme of the corruption of innocence.

The second stanza takes a different tone as it shows the inevitability of such loss with the heavy implications with the use of words like

08-Devoured
09-Like stardust in the darkened sky

Between line 11 and 13, there is a moment where the narrator self-inserts himself into the discourse and interacts with the reader, who now take the place of the passive participant. This is where his presence is more prominent as an entity as he juxtaposes the previous fairy-tale (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) with the Seven Deadly Sins, which is an allegory for the constant struggle of the human psyche between virtue and depravity.

10-Upon the lampshade’s final demise: a follow up from the previous intent and set up for the second context
11-Shall we Recall the: a setup for the next intent
12-Seven little dwarfs: a reference to the fairy-tale Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
13-Seven little sins: a reference to Seven Deadly Sins

The connection between these two elements is meant to be unsettling and eerily random to convey the feelings of nostalgia/childhood with the bleakness of the world we live in. As these sins are aspects of ourselves that we have come to confront on a regular basis (the parallels between good and evil), having such connection intrudes in our consciousness of security when we were kids to the constant battle we face in our psyche. Personally, I think Fred Kruger (Freddy from the Nightmare on Elms Street comes to mind here) was my inspiration for those lines.

The narrator then connects the central conflict of the first stanza with the second stanza in the last two lines of the poem.

14-As I broke the Benjamin: reference to the first stanza
15-Of Alice’s Wonderland dreams: a reference to Alice in Wonderland

This is one of the most important parts of the poem as it merges the first and second stanzas together. As the first stanza as already been address, the overall arc of the poem so far puts more weight on the final line of the second stanza, which works well because of the choice of fairy-tale.

Alice in Wonderland serves as a Utopia for childlike imagination, curiosity and wonder (minus the evil queen) and is seen as a place where dreams come to life. The lines 14 and 15 suggests the breaking the precious treasures of Alice in Wonderland which is filled with dreams and thus, destroying the essence of childlike imagination, curiosity and wonder.

Before I conclude this analysis, I want to talk about the main character (narrator) once again and how he is portrayed in the poem. Throughout the poem, there is no hint of malice or hatred in his tone and his overall approach gives room to believe that this is something he does over and over again without any attachment to his actions. However, the first stanza does show his knowledge of the things that are valuable/precious to people at certain points in their lives and the allegory of taking them away by using the phrase ‘Breaking Benjamin’ makes his tone much softer compared to the probable implication of his actions. In the second stanza, he is aware of the futility of death and its concept in lines 08-09 but still uses his signature phrase, line 01 to convey that element of loss. The only reasoning we get for his actions is in line 11-13 where he interacts with the reader and briefly hints on his knowledge of the human psyche.

There is a lot I can touch on his character because I find him fascinating, much like Death as an entity so I wouldn’t mind someone writing a story prompt about him as a character in a novel or any other medium. I would really love to read that!


image 2

FINAL THOUGHTS
This poem was simpler to analyse than the first one and I found myself going overboard explaining the poem. I am honestly not trying to be extra but this is about me gushing on and on about a concept I find intriguing and the various levels I could explore with an entity like Death without shutting up, fangirling and all.
So the story is an interesting take on the loss of innocence from a different perspective and I think the overall tone is a wonderful twist between goth, thriller and mild horror. Everything I need to explain about the poem has already been explained as coherently as I could so I hope you enjoy it.
Please let me know what you think about this poem/series and look forward to more content!

Much love and respect.
Dammie.

Image Credit 1
http://footage.framepool.com/en/shot/759065467-robbing-the-piggy-bank-cracking-broken-pieces-shattering

Image Credit 2
http://footage.framepool.com/en/shot/666899652-robbing-the-piggy-bank-cracking-broken-pieces-shattering

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This is interesting and amazing. I've never come across a poetry post like this one. You took your time to clearly explain what you're on about. It will help ordinary people like us to comprehend :)

Thanks for sharing!

thank you! i really have fun writing poems and it feels nice when everyone is carried along.

Nice poem. Keep the good work

thanks for the support

Guy, you're amazing, so many poet just write in bug grammars combined together a d leave us with mix feelings on the poem, but you took your time to explain the post.

i am happy you like it. i do try to make it fun for everyone to read. thanks for the comment!

This poetry is exceptional..never seen one like it

thank you! i am glad you like it.

Wow. I am stunned :) This is really amazing poem but the explanation and analysis are what made me crumble out of my chair.... Well Done. We are honored to have such a great talent with #PoetsUnited Thank You. You might be the best addition to our judges team for our contests. If you are interested contact me in ;) Discord. God Bless You. Peace and Love.

Wow! Thank you very much. I am really honored that you took the time to read it through. Much love and respect. 💞

Bravo!
Thanks for sharing a part of your soul 😊😊

thank you for reading 😊😊