Poem / Dialysis Writing Archive

Over the last 14 years of being on dialysis, I started the practice of writing before I walk in and sit there for hours. This became somewhat of a therapy for me and served to both clear my head while also facing my own demons. The pieces vary in length but usually tend to be pretty short. I feel like this would be a good place to begin sharing some, some from the past and some new ones that flow out.

Here's one that's fairly recent:

I gave every ounce of myself...
to something still yet to be seen...
I tried...
I failed...
I got back up...
I ran a million miles, only to realize I've been running in place...
I've sat here...
staring at the ceiling...
planning my escape and praying to God for the means to make tomorrow...
brighter...
I've screamed at the mirror til I'm red in the face...
deafening silence yelled back...
i've tucked dreams underneath pillows...
hoping to manifest images in my sleep, to guide me...
I've held hope between my fingers...
inhaled and felt them enter my lungs...
hitting my bloodstream with a force never felt before...
I've walked away...
pushed away...
slipped away...
But never gotten away...
For the leash pulls tight on my throat...
and I'm choking on the words I couldn't speak...
aloud.