Stream of Consciousness at 10am

in #poetry7 years ago (edited)

unoccupiedbed.jpg
source

A quiet passion
I own you
and you
own me
in a silken net
sort of way
So many ways
to be entangled
But the subtlest is love
the most deadly
but gentle
is love and
I don't know how it'll
all go but I
thank Time for
each moment
I can remember and
for the feel of your hand
And I thank the velvet Darkness
for summer nights
and an unoccupied
bed

Special thanks to @geke for the inspiration to post my stream of consciousness writing, and a big shout-out to the editors at Isle of Write for helping to edit it, especially @geekorner.


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art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics



Image is free to use from snapstock.io
Poetry is property of @Sunravelme

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There's this uber strong moment in there:

"So many ways
to be entangled
But the subtlest is love"

It gives underpinning to what follows and a huge sense of gravitas. Good stuff! Great poem.

Beautiful! You are inspiring me to use my creative energy more. Thank you <3

I'm so excited to see more from you! One of my favorite parts about steemit is workshopping and having the opportunity to see other people's work!

Thank you! I love the way Steemit connects everyone. It has been so wonderful to feel able to break out of my shell and post more. Thanks for all of the support!

I love the dark underbelly of this along with the lusciousness of the words closer to the surface.

<3

mannnn I love thinking about what "a silken net sort of way means." It's that kind of tactile detail that reaches deeper than even the senses can go.

Beautiful work,dear. The beauty of good poetry is when the poet is able to communicate his or her emotions about what he/she is writing about. At that point the reader or listener begins to feel what the poet feels or felt. This is what you @sunravelme has done with this work. Congrats,ma. I will love others to see this.

I really liked the personification of Time and Darkness. I thought those were nice twists. This poem left me with a feeling of excitement and content followed by a bit of mystery. Nice write. Thanks for sharing.

this line ''And I thank the velvet Darkness'' just made my day.

I'm so glad! I normally write dark stuff, this was one of the few happier ones that I've produced

o0o0o I love this very much. A beautiful expression on your part! <3 Thank you for sharing.

Thank you! I really liked your poetry- the idea of carrying each other when times are hard is such a good one!

It's important <3 Thank you kindly!!

sort of way
So many ways
to be entangled

mmm, these three lines sound entangled...... love these words and images

Thank you lovely! Always nice to hear from you :)

Dear @sunravelme,
I began feeling content and ended with a stirring inside. Now to seek out my own silken net.

Yay for the silken net! Thank you for all your recommendations in the workshop!

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