By Now

Hello everyone! Happy March! I hope February treated you all kindly. For me, it was immensely better than January. I spent two weeks living day-to-day out of a backpack touring through Scotland, and it was life changing. I'll be writing about that later.
Anyways, February also came with a heaping dose of clarity. So what I have for you today is just a messy poem about a different time, and the one who hates me the most.

by now you think you've found her,
the girl i said you'd find.
tell yourself she's the one
if that gives you peace of mind.
by now i'm half a world away

what happened when i left
when you told me you would die
i came back just to see you
who wouldn't look me in the eye
i'm trying

shared your need of micro-planning
every little detail to the tee
but i couldn't share your plans
you had a future, it just wasn't me
i was exhausted

you held my hand for a while
you never embarassed of my scars
i just wanted a little commotion
i never wanted to break your heart
we were out of control

by now i'm half a world away
you said it was a mistake
by now i hope you realize
how i never could've stayed
we were different' then