This Heavy Blanket (Original poetry)

I have never suffered from true, debilitating depression. But I wanted to explore my feelings of what it is like to be truly clinically depressed. I can't do it justice because I haven't lived it, but I hope I came close.

I’m weighed down by my misery
I wear this heavy blanket
If the grim reaper came for me today
I’d thank him

I could make a million dollars
I could lose every penny
It makes no difference
How much, how long or how many

It doesn’t matter the time
The day, the month, the season
I couldn’t tell you why
There’s no rhyme nor reason

I’m alive in name only
Just going through the motions
While I am sinking to the bottom
Of the deepest darkest ocean

I could stay here in bed all day
If I didn’t need the money
Earning a living for a life that I don’t want
Ain’t that funny?

People say to keep your chin up
And put on a painted smile
I lash out at them why don’t you
Try feeling this way for a while

I know you want the best for me
You’re just trying to lend a hand
But I can’t pretend for you
Don’t you understand?

It might help to relieve your guilt
Free you from your obligation
But for now, won’t you please
Just try to be patient

It’s not like I made the choice
To be followed by this cloud
My voice is a mere whisper
And my head is bowed

Please give me time and space
I’m sure I’ll be alright
But it sure doesn’t feel that way
Tonight

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Images from Pixabay

My name is Scott. I write poetry and other stuff. I'd love it if you followed me.