I not understand

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As color, what do you want to be?
Is the blue peaceful?
Or passionate red?
Come on, we're talking about love
Not a beggar vote party.

You are a part of my life that I will never be able to repeat again
You are the most beautiful documentation of history.
Which is now, eternally stored in an illusion.

What I fear from roses,
You're no longer a peaceful fragrance.
But it becomes a hurting thorn.

How could you believe this would miss you
If you think of it all as a fake thing
You can't, you understand a little of my heart
I'm not exaggerating you but I'm actually watching you.

Fatigue will always come for people who don't understand directions,
Will not know the purpose,
Even with me who now don't understand which direction I'm fighting for,
what goals are I taking, about you or not at all.