Cornered Behind Walls of Suicide

puggle (50)in #poetry • 6 years ago

,I'm here again
Breaking the walls of sin
Every hole instantly mends.
I continue to fight a battle that I'll never win. These walls have me in a cell burning me with the smothering flames of hell. Bursting my lungs every time I inhale.
Lost inside of a black pit. The top and bottom ill never hit! Someone save me from this s*** reality blinks to sight and there is no fire to fight, only a glowing lamplight sanity seemed so far away and reality strays impulse nagging for a taste.
Want to come out and play?
The breath of life is frosted with the numbness of death.I'm dying in this life its homicide! I'm cornered behind walls of suicide. In my mind, I've already died without remorse. I just want to kill my corpse help me please, please, please, somebody help me I'm blind when I can see! I can't look at what my eyes perceive it's all too much for me to believe! I live but I am NOT alive numbness poisons my insides. Another injection of toxic lies, a devouring disease contaminates.
Alone in vain, I cry. Tears of acid bleed from my eyes. Trapped in a mind dominated by demise. Plotting a stealthy suicide surprise.
I'm falling down into this in endless pit.
The walls flaming with blazing coals! I don't know where to turn since every bridge has been burnt.
I'm lost inside myself! I am the only one here to help. I'm losing the hand I've been dealt! I'm suffocating myself!
Life's not! Life's not fair! Life's not fair!
I'm lost inside myself and I'm the only one left here to help! I'm losing the hand!
I'm suffocating myself!
I'm in a mirage, reality a lost cause. I run, run through the fragile memories in my head and contemplate why I'm not dead. Life is like a jigsaw puzzle that's missing a piece. No matter how hard I try the picture is never complete.
I cry into the night, at the demons I can't fight, blink until my sight is right. Truth blinding me with its light.
I'm lost inside myself!
I'm the only one that's here to help!
Realities is a lost cause.
I've been caught by the demons of angels!
here I go, another foggy road. Hide the pain below. Don't show let it show. Don't let it go. Please don't let it show. Please don't let it go
Thoughts of a confused mind in despair is denied tears to cry.
I stuff it down somewhere I hope I never to pry.
I've been cornered by the walls of suicide! Locked cell trapped leaving me without a place to hide it leaves my heart to the slaughter, the slaughter of Lies. raped by love and left with nothing to live bye. A repeating rhetorical question of why?-why do I even try? This void can not be filled I've realized. I look for someone, something, that's nothing. I live inside it as it dies. Crushed left it crumbled with the spare seems another unconditional love has gone stale the trust I gave up as always ends up with and betrayal f***** by depression a dead stare desperate and sulking about why life isn't fair