the monster - το τέρας

when I was a young boy, I wanted to be a tree, silent and still.
I stood by the hours in the backyard with arms outstreched.
"oh, isn't he getting tired after so long, the little monster", my granny used to ask.

Later, I wanted to be a dog. I secretely wore my father's tie as a tail and barked at
people passing by.
"come here you little monster, If your father sees you, you're dead", mum tried to scare me.
At school I descovered other children. I was fascinated by girls, I wanted to be one too.
In secret, I wore my mother's garments and later, as a teenager, my girlfriend's clothes.
I felt power.
"I am a monster. If my father sees me I'm dead". I wrote in my diary.
I spent a lot, steps, tears, money, fears, years to finaly descover who I am not.
For a long time I kept the dog in me. Roaming around stray, "barking" at whatever scared me,
begging for love, trying to please them all.
I didn't even realize how this cyrcle closed and I am back at the beggining.
Now I want to be tree again. Silent and still...nothing more.
I am a monster after all.

KONSTANTINOS MALOUSARIS.