A painful heart

Source
You hit me again tonight,
This time you punched me thrice,
Twice on my stomach, and once on my face.
I felt the rusty taste of blood on my tongue
And the sinking feel of shame in my heart,
You picked your key in anger and stormed out of the room.

You've left me again in a broken state,
And all I could do was pray you come back home to me.
Thinking of it, where's home?
The building that is full of the terror in my screams or the walls stained with my blood?
Or my heart?
My heart that is beating with an aching pang of pain and desolation
Or myself?
Myself that I've lost touch with 3 years ago the first time you hit me for saying man city plays trash.

Thinking about it now, I realize there's no home for you to come back to with me, I just want you to fill the void in my life, even if filling it comes with pain.
God please bring him back to me again, I muttered before the sleeping pill I overdosed on took me away!

Not tonight,
Not this night: with the pregnant moon as a witness.
with the rustling sound of my heart, left to swim in pain.
I've watched every series of your wide palm,
Leaving prints of contours on my both cheeks.
Yet, mucus mixed with hot tears,
Moved you a bit not, and you seems to enjoy it.
You became a tears freak, and mine is your first choice.
Now, I saw the new version of the beast in you.
The one that will land it's hand, heavily on me,
And still come to soothe my skin,
waiting for my opened laps, which I should always open.
Your widely opened palm,
graduated with a first class in fist clenching.

But not tonight,
You've become as addict and lover of my scream,
not of pleasure but of pain and displeasure.
I remembers every night, the day its all start.
Only a few hours rest is all I need,
To be your whore on bed, but the gentle impatient you,
Felt rejected and you forced me.
You enjoyed the ecstasy but I felt raped of my right, my property.
So tonight, your punches came through.
Countless like the stars in the sky.
Yet, ladened with screaming pain.
And dripping blood, stained your hands.

I still want your love, until I got choked of your lust.
I have a magnificent and enviable house,
but not a sweet and happy home.
I've lost myself, my home, and my love.
Your deed to me, makes me wonder:
A pill of two, swallowed as ten will take me,
On a ride to have my lifeless body as your pole's hole.

Thanks for going through...