not a victim of circumstance

i see her swollen and full of pain,
breathing and walking are difficult again
Her heart keeps beating
health is fleeting
i run a bath for her
The salt bath soothes her
then she reaches for the mountain dew

the contradiction was such a thought to get thru

why does what she is choosing to do
affect me.
the sadness i feel
through lense of own personal pain.....
brutaly honest
deprive self of deeper intimacy, holding space for self?
roles w punches,
have power to choose
fire and water into majic
new beauty,
let go of rejection issues

stepping out
not a part of that
was a mirror of my inner world
imposter,

release suffering pain is inevitable suffering is optional

caring and nourishing relationships
go within to see why it is happening