Reflection

My mother liked to tell me, 

“I thought you had a happy childhood.” 

I ache for the woman  

So wounded that she could not see, 

The pain behind the smile 

I pasted on my face. 

Too young I learned  

That I did not exist

For anything more than another’s punching bag 

Oh no not physical, 

It would never do to inflict wounds 

That could be seen, assessed, acknowledged 

Best wound in ways 

That didn’t show. 

Easier then to deny 

My truth again, Again, again. 

The truth is there, it’s always been. 

And I am there, 

I’ve always been. S

Some days waiting patiently 

Some days not so much, 

But waiting nonetheless  

To be discovered 

By someone who deserves her love the most 

That elusive soul who turns away 

Pretends the smile is real 

Yet knowing, always knowing, 

The agony it hides. 

It’s time to tell her, 

“Get real with me! I’m here and I will shine! 

It’s time to scream this from the rooftops  

Until the woman that runs from my power 

Embraces all of me

There is only one woman 

Strong enough to do that. 

I know her.  

I’ve known her all along. 

And now it’s time to look her in the eyes 

To say, “I see you.  I hear you.  You are real.” 

So I stand before the mirror, 

Look myself in the eyes and say, 

“You are beautiful and strong beyond compare. 

I am so proud of all that you’ve endured 

With such a loving heart. 

I am so excited to have found you! 

Let’s be friends, 

There’s a world I want to share!”