Life's a Canvas, An Original Poem
Life's not bad
and life's not good.
Life's just real
misunderstood.
Life's a mirror
of your actions.
An empty canvas
you're the paint.
Look how you live,
'cause it reactions.
But life's not alive
it really ain't.
It just shows you
how you lived.
Every decision
it records.
And in the end
you realize.
You fucked up life
on your accords.
So pick up the brush
paint what you want to see.
Make it the painting
you always wanted it to be.
From the first stanza, I could tell I was in for a great read! You're quite talented to manage to convey the message in concise lines. I love the message behind the poem: instead of blaming life and playing the victims, we pick up the brush and paint our own story.
If I can comment on anything, it would be that the last line seems a bit too wordy. The cliché in the line before the last could be deleted and instead replaced by half of the last line. Nonetheless, a really great poem!
Hi, thank you for stopping by and giving me great feedback. You're absolutely right about that last line, would make the flow much smoother, thanks. :)
humbled that you actually saw my advice as valuable! It's my pleasure to be a part of this lovely community, where we respect and listen to one another
Awesome Write. Thank you for contributing to our community . I hope you use #poetsunited tag next time when you submit in our promo channel thank you. I have included this piece cause you are a new member and probably did not read the rules yet. Thank you for joining us. God Bless. Love and Peace.
Oh, I'm sorry about that, I'll definitely keep that in mind next time :) . Thanks !
@lorddominik007 that is very nice. Nice use of words and so true. We are responsible at every moment to live at cause in our lives or live in effect in our lives.
Each of us has this choice to decide to paint the canvas.
Thank you for sharing.
Create a great day,
@kozan
Thank you ! :) Have a grand day as well :)
Lovely Good life
Authentic. Choose wisely when we paint.
interesting read....i like the rhyme and flow of the poem....
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Its beautiful. indeed we ought to paint what we want to see.But do we? If only we could all master the courage to do that, it would be a perfect picture. Unfortunately its a real world.......and not ideal one.
Nice piece.
Thank you for your kind words, you're right, it's not always easy to paint what you want to see, but it's always worth it.
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