I'm really glad I stumbled upon this poem. This is an excellent example of free verse and concise writing that I think quite a few could learn from.
Wind stepped is an excellent descriptor. This is truly what concrete imagery looks like. The off rhyme between long and pond is interesting. At first, it made me stumble, but the more I read it, the more than I like it.
The one thing I'm not sure of is the use of the storm as a point of action. The contrast between the storm, gentle flower, and blossoming is a bit too much for me. If the poem were to have to contrasting characters, I think it would be more effective.
thank you, @introvertfl for a very astute and insightful response. I use a lot of near rhyme to avoid the sing song effect of whole word rhyme
I also agree with your suggestion about contrasting characters - as it was, the poem came out whole and I left it raw - some will find it short - brief as men's love?...but honestly, a thing can be love;ly whatever its dimensions.
Nice post! I am not too good at poetry interpretation, so please excuse me if I reading this wrong. It sounds like you're talking about life's ups and downs and then I'm a little thrown by the ending. In the last stanza about awareness, are you talking about how children lose their innocence once they see how evil the world can be? Or is it more of trying to protect children from the evil in the world?
what you take from a poem is subjective and personal regardless of what the author intended. But a clue to understanding a poem is to analyze the title - there are two kinds of storms in life - the physical storms outside us and the human storms of emotions. As the two lovers cling to each other sheltering from the thunderstorms, the touch of a hand ignites a storm of passion as the lovers become aware of their intimacy. That's what I intended but what you take from it is personal to you :)
Thanks for the kind words! I think sometimes I'm just a little too analytical, so I'm always trying to find the answer. But it makes sense that they would have multiple interpretations. I like how you used the imagery of the word in more than one way.
Hi, John.
I'm really glad I stumbled upon this poem. This is an excellent example of free verse and concise writing that I think quite a few could learn from.
Wind stepped is an excellent descriptor. This is truly what concrete imagery looks like. The off rhyme between long and pond is interesting. At first, it made me stumble, but the more I read it, the more than I like it.
The one thing I'm not sure of is the use of the storm as a point of action. The contrast between the storm, gentle flower, and blossoming is a bit too much for me. If the poem were to have to contrasting characters, I think it would be more effective.
Well written, well executed.
thank you, @introvertfl for a very astute and insightful response. I use a lot of near rhyme to avoid the sing song effect of whole word rhyme
I also agree with your suggestion about contrasting characters - as it was, the poem came out whole and I left it raw - some will find it short - brief as men's love?...but honestly, a thing can be love;ly whatever its dimensions.
Thank you for the solid feedback
That's a wonderful way to put it. Perhaps you should write a poem on the subject of love's brevity.
Nice post! I am not too good at poetry interpretation, so please excuse me if I reading this wrong. It sounds like you're talking about life's ups and downs and then I'm a little thrown by the ending. In the last stanza about awareness, are you talking about how children lose their innocence once they see how evil the world can be? Or is it more of trying to protect children from the evil in the world?
what you take from a poem is subjective and personal regardless of what the author intended. But a clue to understanding a poem is to analyze the title - there are two kinds of storms in life - the physical storms outside us and the human storms of emotions. As the two lovers cling to each other sheltering from the thunderstorms, the touch of a hand ignites a storm of passion as the lovers become aware of their intimacy. That's what I intended but what you take from it is personal to you :)
Thanks for the kind words! I think sometimes I'm just a little too analytical, so I'm always trying to find the answer. But it makes sense that they would have multiple interpretations. I like how you used the imagery of the word in more than one way.
Ooh, the calm after the storm. I wasn't expecting that.
very witty, mere :)
The simple holding of a hand can make one's blood pressure drop to normal levels and calm the anxiety about the squalls whipping about.
I don't have all the lingo for writing and poetry but a heart I do have - and a hand to comfort.
you do have a heart and a calming influence - poetry is an art and can be learned
Human storms, everyday. But then again, after the storm, the gentle silence. And that silence is human, too.
A great piece. Thank you, John.
very poetic and insightful, my friend
Love this rhythm to this piece. Beautiful work, as always.
thanks, Jessica
Simple and direct, I love it.
thank you
This is an amazing poem, and I love it the picture
thanks, denise
Your poetry shows your sweetness @johnjgeddes! ♥
thanks, leah
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