(OLD) Myself

Beyond myself, somewhere, I still wait for my return, And while I wait I see in the far, far away something of a wonder. It lies just above the quick of my life's darkened heart. So close that in fact it risks being devoured by what can only be explained as everything I have ever EVER refused to feel. I am terror stricken; so many good things have met such horrid and bleak fate to that heart. I cant risk being taken in as well and made to feel not now. Not while this new wonder has set its-self so near doom.

I can no longer wait for myself here near this place so dark and hungry. I must discover what or who that wonder is and what it means. How? How does one pass their own darkened heart to the wonder that waits without being consumed? I so desperately want to know that wonder but I am in fear of my own darkened heart.

...I wonder, is that wonder waiting for me as well?