Falling!

Excess love!
So much love,it made me puff
To be called a son of God
The ABBA bond
it was so strong
The words of your servant
"Call back the sinners,
Awaken the saints"
and then little but little I caved
little by little I layed
Not in his green pastures
but in back in the world's vain!
And after not just days nor even weeks
It finally dawned I was falling
Was about to hit rock bottom
But just not fallen
And for months I asked
How do I return?
The ways of this world again seemed fun
I couldn't handle that process of purpose no more

And finally I left!
Or so i thought
In a position I no longer functioned
Tormented!
Day and night tempted!
In the valleys it was so lukewarm
I kept on asking:
'How much more of this spirikoko will I form?
Lord,You and I know I no longer burn!'
But He'll say
Falling,not Fallen!

My spirituality became like concoction
It wasn't jollof it wasn't plain white
I became a mixed breed
My mind was a daily battle ground
Sundays was a reminder of the devils triumph
Filling a position you administer duties
yet neglecting the manifestation it's spiritual functions
Seeking power without
the true presence of God
Wallowing in the mud

Then I thought;
I don't deserve Him
His blood I can't afford
His love is too much
The pain I cause him I shouldn't live no more

Zebulun of Elyon🔥
FALL series
#TheLazarusEffect