[ORIGINAL POEM] Barbed Wire Through My Heart

I’m freezing in my soul tonight
There’s something black and sticky in my heart
That I just can’t seem to get out
Something wet and dusty that’s been there forever
Since the dawn of everything

I’m shivering inside tonight
I just can’t get my life on the right track again
This world is not made for sensitive souls
It’s a hard and dark world that just keeps spinning
On and on and on and on

How much can a human being handle?
Everything is upside down
I pulled barbed wire through my heart tonight
Through my soul and my life
Through everything I lost

They tattooed me with just one word
In capital letters, on my forehead
STRONG
They said I have to go through all this pain
So that I would end up strong

But am I strong enough?
What about giving up?
When is the limit crossed?
Why me?
What is all this about?

A big part of me just want to
Dress up in high heels and a nice outfit
And go on a never ending party
And never come back
Be gone in a haze, lost in oblivion forever

Or take a one-way ticket to a paradise beach
Disappear from society
And never look back
Erase all the memories
And just live for the day

This pain is too strong tonight
Barbed wire is all I can see when I close my eyes
It’s telling me about everything that is forbidden
And everything that is lost in eternity
All that I was not able to give anyone

What if it comes a time when you can’t recover?
When you recovered a thousand times
And just can’t do it one single more time
When all you got is an empty heart and a numb soul
What do you do then?