Poem: My heart speaks

in #poetry7 years ago

Poem Cover.jpg

Lol, yeah, OK words like these - one liners
That's what I always see as my notifiers
I try to be the gentleman she has always desired
But then I see myself being hypocritic - a liar

I'm waiting for the day I'll sit next to her
Propounded by the epitome of love for by it's touch everyone becomes a poet I'll say to her
If my name were Bobby, would you ask me what is my hobby?
If I were Judice, would you ask what my mood is?

If my name were Paul, would you give me a call?
If I were wise, would you call me twice?
If I stopped being foolish, would you show me where your heart is?
If I were hot, would you give it a thought?

If I tell you a lie, would you say you'll be mine?
If I were a test, would you be the first?
If I were decently dressed, would you quickly say yes?

Speaking from my heart, I'm afraid it will be broken
I'm immensely scared of that which you'll say after I've spoken
I talk to make you laugh and act like I'm joking
But I have to tell you the truth about the feelings you've awoken.

Sort:  

nicely written:)

Ahh to be younger and full of love and emotions. I really enjoyed the first stanza and the last stanza. I felt like the middle ones were confusing and forced rhymes.

I laughed at the first line, LOL. That was hilarious, and I liked thinking about what the speakers one-liners were. I wanted to know why the speaker was a liar.

I guess the lies were that, you could call the speaker anything and they would act in that fashion? I'm not certain because it was confusing.

I also like the last stanza, because it felt full of action and Hope. It reminded me of high school boys afraid to talk to the girl that had a crush on. If Only They knew that the girls were just as nervous and uncertain, they would all speak their feelings and be honest with each other.
Well done, and thank you for sharing. I enjoyed reading this.

Points noted....would work on it

Congratulations @gbriel! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of upvotes

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.17
TRX 0.16
JST 0.029
BTC 76095.48
ETH 2918.89
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.65