Kicking Questions Around

I ask myself a ton of questions, the usual: Who am I? What am I? What is my purpose? What comes next? When I stepped through the door of the AA707 that delivered me to Da Nang Airfield in 1970, I was blasted by hot, humid air and was overwhelmed by all the activity going on around the airstrip. My first thought was: "What the hell did you get yourself into this time Douglas?" I have not stopped asking that question since and do not think I am any closer to finding an answer. I do not consider myself to be a gloom and doomer type regardless that there is clearly lots of doom and gloom going around. I tend to view myself as pragmatic living in a theoretical construct, a realist conflicted by a pseudo science world, which leads to living a confused life also. I probably know just enough to get into trouble so I do my best to stay out of the way and sit in the comfort of my room to write thoughts down and hit the post button. Following is a thought that was fun, mostly benign but sprinkled with a measure of grandiose possibility. The entire kitten kaboodal is a holograph, we are all embedded as ignorant fragments until the moment of awakening, unconscious consciousnesses that finally becomes aware, not just of itself but of the whole that it is one with. Best.

Waiting

Sitting in an altered state
Meditating on love and other lovely things
Hoping to hear an answer to the questions
Or even just one question that I bring
Wondering afterwards
Where is the God I believe in
Sitting on a mountain top taking in the scenery
Or drifting in the Universe enjoying its wounderous creation
Letting me find out for myself
The things I ask God to bring

Understanding of that which is
Knowledge of what is to come
Where am I going
Where have I been
What past experiences am I learning from
Sitting in an altered state on my couch
Asking
Wondering

Waiting in the silence of unanswered questions
To find it is me
Sitting on the mountain top
Taking in all the beautiful scenery
And drifting 'round the Universe
So I do not have to see
The answers to the questions
Or even one question that I bring
Distracted by all the wonderful creations
Just listening
Wondering
© Douglass Jungquist 2004