The bitter side of loving

Someone once said that when the irony (or sarcasm) begins to appear in the relationship is a clear sign that it is beginning to deteriorate. There is a stage in which the reproaches begin to verbalize ... Before this stage there was no negative thought in your mind about the other person. You only saw her pretty side, how happy she made you feel.

Everything that has not been said at the time will have to be expressed later in one way or another. Once we "sold" our values ​​to please the other person. We said yes, but we wanted to say no. We did not want to offend, we wanted to show our best face ... And we did it from fear. Fear that he / she did not accept us as we are.

And that's when gradually began to generate that hatred, a negative energy that by not knowing how to manage we decided that our partner would take responsibility for it. In psychology it is called projection. This is to attribute the other person thoughts, emotions or feelings that we consider unacceptable to us but that we are actually experiencing ourselves. To a certain extent we all do it.

If we do not accompany this projection process with conscience and humility a relationship can become a real hell ... I mean, it can become hell for many reasons, but from my point of view the biggest problem arises when we project our own feelings on the other, and therefore we automatically stop having control, we abandon the possibility of solving the conflict, because we believe that it is not our problem! And that therefore it is the other person who must do something for you.

This attitude comes as a ring to the finger to blame your partner for everything that happens to you. You will have given him the power that belongs to you, the power to take charge of yourself. By inertia, this dynamic could be perpetuated until the end of your days. It's in your hands.