Like a dream upon waking

And like a dream on waking,
her future slipped through her fingers.
Dreams of days on beaches
But had she wished it away?
She had wished and wished
In the darkest moments
The ones where she had changed her mind.
Those moments when her loneliness,
singed the corners of her soul.

Late darkness hangs in the air like cold
And her mind turning and turning
Accelerating
Hurricanes and thought and feeling and doubt
nothing moved in her slowly
Her inside and outside crept away from each other,
against each other, barbed and electric
And she faced the back of everything.
Yet she had to take the lead.
Pushing life uphill, towards the horizon.
Only to roll down again
And again
And again

Eyes darting
Words flipping over and over
Like jumping beans
Over and over the fine line between where truth is good
And where it is bad.

Honour
Betrayal
The infinite incompleteness of relativity

Where was she standing
Treachery shrouded in an honest moment’s relief.
Nothing mattered anyway
She was free
She was free
But the leaden feeling
of having damaged the universe’s delicate shell of human emotion
clung to her with all its rancid viscosity
never to be scrubbed from herself

She was not meant to be here
She was meant to be alone
She was meant to be free
Not indebted and hitched up
To the great weight
The greatest weight of a dead loved one