Always Late to the Party

Finally here.
It took a lot of effort for me to break from my alone to time to be here.
The music, chatter, and bodies all around me are foreign. I feel uncomfortable.
I gather the courage to step further inside. After all, I'm here to socialize with others.

I'm late however.
From all the talking, I see that I've missed so much already.
I don't understand any of these inside jokes.
The people I know try to help, but soon drop the dead weight.
They're here to participate in the festivities, not provide me with exposition.
I try and piece bits and pieces of conversation to get a picture.
Conversations are short because I don't have anything to add to what's been said.

I become exhausted.
I wanted to socialize, but can't hold anybody's attention.
Defeated I retreat. Better luck next time.