COLORLESS, or how to re-work a poem

Hi all!

I already posted my original poem in English here, and my critique regarding the poem itself - as a written text - not necessarily my own here.

In this post, I will show how I reworked my own poem following the questions raised in the last post.

Source

COLORLESS

Perhaps I know you;
I’ve been studying you
page by page,
chapter by chapter,
the dots make sense connected.

Do I know you?
I know who gave life
to that painting on the wall,
the once living name is right there.
You break frames in bitterness,
you create canvases in silence,
you harvest it all.

I do know a thing or two
about harvesting connected dots:
if done wrong, they bring forth
rocks painted into compliments
and deserts ground down from love.

Do I know you, though?
would you paint a polka dot table cloth,
a bowl of wheat next to a burnt candle
in the kitchen at night? It that where you are?
Is it pleasant to paint your surroundings?

I may never know you,
even though you work with colors
I’m yet to see one on you.

I can see that you’re waiting,
you don’t know what,
but you know why.

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Now, I know some will say this is not the same poem, and I'd say, yes, it's not, but that's the point.

Reworking your own poems will undoubtedly change the poem in question.

Change it until you're happy with it.

I'm quite happy with what I've come up with, which doesn't mean that this would be the final version of the poem.

What do you think? How different is this poem from the one posted here?

Let me know what you think!

Have an awesome day, everyone!