Poetic-surge Poetry Contest #1 (Empty Heart)
Empty Heart
The year starts
There is something she finds
A short flame bound to make her happy
until she sees the stars
They are laughing at her
because she knew it wouldn’t last
but she chose to dive in
until the veil would fall
A then she understands
what she knew all along
He wasn’t staying
She is once again all alone
She hid it all from herself
her doubts her thoughts
In hope someone would fix
what she had to fix on her own
--- My head crowded with thoughts
--- my heart burning with loss
That how she feels
like drowning in her mind
In an empty home
with an empty heart
This is some awesome work here,, a lost soul, an abandoned soul,, at the mercy of lonliness...
i hope to see you around, the results will be announced today and the next contest ( the best poem appreciation) will kick off,, bye
Thanks! For the comment and for the oportunity.
These are the best lines of the piece in my opinion :) >
There is something she finds
A short flame bound to make her happy
until she sees the stars
It is strange but in the first two parts it seemed to be that she was the one getting bored then the tone shifts and she is the one that always is abandoned. The weaker woman is a sad defeated character. I feel as if she had remained the stronger , flightier one and then had noticed that it was not the failings of the men but her own it would have bene more consistant . But then it is your work so never mind the critics ;)
I get what you are saying and the funny thing is that for me the flame, the guy, was just her way not to think about her problems. Like a distraction that made her "happy" while it lasted. But re reading it through your eyes it makes sense.
Mabye that's the beauty of poetry, being able to find something new every time you read it.
By the way, thanks for the honest comment!
you're so welcome love :)