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RE: Co-immunity coiled

in #poem6 years ago

The title is unique and creative in the coinage. Never thought of it but there it is - to be a member of a community is to have immunity. Ostensibly, a community member enjoys the warmth, support, and protection of his community.

This poem has some deceptive simplicity. The diction and combination of words are quite ordinary to the eyes but deep in meaning.

The poem reminds me of the law of sowing and reaping. Payday will always come, and for those who sowed well, it is always a day of jubilation.

Your sense of music is obvious in the stringng together of alliterative words:

...sides ... life

set on the sill to soak up sun.

...flows from...

The last stanza is particularly rhythmical, almost like the lyrics of a song:

And on the day the inevitable comes,
some comfort in knowing, through scornful arcs:
we are tossed on that selfsame pyre of dawn
below song of jubilant larks.

Good job @d-pend.

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Thank you for the reflections and commentary @sungbojus. As you observed, the musical aspect of my writing is strong, most likely due to my years of study as a composer, pianist, and songwriter. It is something, though a less central part of my current lifestyle, that is a deep aspect of who I am.

I do try to write using simpler diction sometimes, since many of my pieces tend to use abstruse and convoluted vocab/phrasing. It's less intentional than a matter of inspiration, though. Thanks again for stopping by and leaving your thoughts!

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