Untitled Sestina (original)
Sestina with keywords suggested by some lovely people. Thanks for helping me challenge myself.
Untitled
My life, a series of continuous experiences, continuously interrupted
By some moments that taste like honey, others leaving me blue
A particular hue, one that tastes like the sky before it darkens
Sometimes I feel like I cannot choose. I guess I am torn
I try to swallow the sea, leave it empty
Unsure which move is true or right
I just want to love you right
These intentions are always interrupted
So many disappointments make this world seem empty
We've seen our bright heat fade to blue
I've seen you doubting, torn
You've seen my shine darken
We have lit new fires, waiting for the day to darken
Sometimes we've gotten it right
Patched together our hearts, previously, terribly torn
Gone forward as if never interrupted
Kissed away the blue
Proven our love to be an endless well, never empty
My life used to feel hopelessly empty
A sunny day would inevitably darken
I'll always lean towards blue
It's okay, even right
For joy to be interrupted
Pages and emotions torn
Remember the past lives from which we were torn?
Did you feel those days were empty?
My despair found hope when they were interrupted
Maybe your safe silence caused that little light to darken
You cannot stop feelings, whether or not they are right
Back then you hadn't really seen my shades of blue
You were born and the sky turned blue
I am convinced the decision to release you left heaven torn
To do so was only right
I imagine the place feels a little empty
But it's light on you will never darken
Never again will my smile for you get interrupted
I will always carry this torch burning blue,fill notebooks to fight the empty
Some pages are love letters to you, torn, some pages I chose to darken
I will always love you right, if you promise yours will never again be interrupted
If you read the whole thing, thanks! That was long. I wouldn't have posted this if it weren't for asking for community involvement in the process. I like parts of it, but it's not as good as I'd like. It definitely was a challenge though! (Gif by giphy.com)
https://steemit.com/poetry/@renodakota/help-me-write-a-new-poem-please
Hope you are doing well! You are missed.
Hey, thanks. Actually going through a tough time. Someone I loved passed away the other day. I've been mostly offline. Thank you for thinking of me. Hope all is well with you!
My heart and thoughts are with you, sorry to hear about your loss. Lots of light your way.
Thank you.
Interrupted blues? When you face a challenge you can't lose, the experience points gained you can use in the next battle you pursue. I thought it was nice.
Thanks man, I appreciate it. Is Interrupted Blues your suggestion for a title? I like it a lot, its apt.
Yeah, it's weird how interrupted disrupts the poem, and the blue, sad tones, I thought it may work as it was afore untitled. I noticed by the last stanzas you moved interrupted into the keystone end.
That's the formula for the envoi (the final three lines in Sestina). You have to label each word as a, b, c, d, e, f. So the end words are in that order, then the order fluctuates as you go- I had to go back to my book of forms a few times to make sure I was correctly following the structure! In the final 3 lines you have to use two keywords, b,e for line 37, d,c for 38, and f,a for the last. Thanks for the insight and feedback!
I've heard that Sestinas are VERY challenging. I am by no means a poet nor do I claim to know ANYTHING about poetry, but, I very much enjoyed this poem and the imagery that it brought. Well done, Chap!
I Love that you tackled one of these, very well done, especially since you said it's a first draft. Things only get better from here. <3
Thank you! Years ago my friends were in a poetry class and I was so jealous because I couldn't afford it. It also kind of burned me because I was the one who had always written (I was twenty, forgive me!). I would try to do the homework they were assigned, and that's how I discovered the form.
I find natural poets (like you) are the ones it just comes too... it being the muse I suppose. No matter the classes, no matter monies, some people just 'get it'. :)
You got it.
That means a lot to me, thank you.
Great poem! Glad we could inspire! XOOXO Cheers!
Thank you so much @robyneggs! It was a challenge and didn't turn out as well as I hoped, but it was a good exercise.
This is lovely!
Thanks so much!
It was 'blue-tiful' :)
Lol nice! Thank you for reading and participating. I appreciate it!
Super interesting! Makes me want to go read about the Sestina form. It put me in a very dreamlike state to read it... felt like I was being washed over by the emotions explained..
Let me know if you try to tackle the form, I'd love to see what you come up with. Thanks for your reply.
I stumbled upon your work while looking at other people's sestinas. I really like how you put the end words together, its not easy!
Curious on your thoughts on mine
https://steemit.com/poetry/@sixshot/from-break-of-dawn-the-glorious-sestina-poem
Thank you. Sestina is a challenging form.