Inside Out
You galloped across the Badlands of my inner
enough to make me go outer
for the first time
Outside there were storm clouds
and fireflies
and men with beards
that bristled against my soft skin
as they scoured with soft hands
against my hard heart
Inside there was lightning
and sometimes rain
sometimes solar flares
Sometimes a kiss means nothing more than
“I like the way you look”
But if I wasn’t on the receiving end of lips
it meant
“I like the way you listen”
It meant
“I think you may match the criteria
for what I’ve been taught about love
Let's join lips and hands and hips
and if you know how to--
souls”
But no one knew how to
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
or how to wash the dishes
Let alone, how to hold lightning
in a jar
The dishes piled high like your pride in the sink.
You galloped across the mesa on my trusty steed
leaving me to guess at the logistics
of riding a daddy long legs to work
Sometimes a kiss meant
“I like your lightning,
I see it matches my thunder”
Always, it meant
there was a storm coming
This is a perfect specimen showing Hemingway’s iceberg theory of writing at work. There’s clearly a big mass of ideas and words on the surface that have a particular form, which is nice in its own way, but the poem’s center of gravity lies below the surface.
The beg example is in this potion:
“You galloped across the mesa on my trusty steed
leaving me to guess at the logistics of riding a daddy long legs to work.”
The imagery seems classic western American—almost Western American Kitsch. The steed though isn’t just “a” steed. It’s the narrator’s, making the author the main actor through the agency of the horse as an almost mystical extension of the author herself, through what may be an unintentional nod to the Lockean/homesteading metaphysics of homesteading prevalent in the frontier American West.
But it’s the lover that has taken control of the author’s steed, which—while normally a heroic image—is now transformed into a cry of bitterness at the loss of the author’s treasured love and transportation.
The daddy long legs-qua-faux horse imagery speaks best by itself. Truly, anyone reading this that imagines the well-placed imagery, can fully understand the inner sanctum if the authors mindful(l) emotions.
This is a wonderful piece—a tulip in a field of ragweed.
Enhance your life by reading this and then reading it again!
Hi @pinkspectre, once i was listening funny poetry, it was really funny. I want to share with you. I did not remember exact wording but i explain. Poet said you should always love. Because if you will able to get your lover then you will be lucky. But if you did not get your lover then your poetry will become top class. What do you think about this statement.
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Nice poem. I like the the line -Sometimes a kiss meant
“I like your lightning,
I see it matches my thunder”- the most. Thanks
Unique poem
Just that the diction is not straightforward... Deeper thought and concentration is required for clear understanding
Really? I think it’s very straightforward, but that’s why it means a you think because it has more than the meaning that shows on the surface.
Yes
Oh. Ok.
I enjoyed this, i liked the metaphor of 'riding a daddy long legs to work'