To that girl who is confused about her feelings

It feels wonderful knowing that someone admires you. You somehow feel confident of yourself. You feel pretty about yourself, especially when you have not been in a relationship for years. But there’s still a part of you that says, “It’s wrong to give him hope if you don’t really like him because he really has a good heart and it should not be broken because of you.”

Then, you two reached to the point where you feel comfortable with each other. Everyday, he leaves you sweet messages and so you are obliged to respond the same way, too. But the thing is, you don’t like him as much as he does. You are just being friendly to him. Because after all, he’s too kind not to receive that kind of treatment. Until the time came when he wanted to step to the next level of your friendship. He wanted you to be not “just” a friend to him. So you thought it’s best if you confront him and say that you wanted him stay just a friend to you and you felt sorry doing that. He said, “It’s okay, I understand.” Then he stopped doing the sweet little things he does and acted like a complete stranger to you. Now, what you don’t understand is, Why is that that he needed to change? Why do you feel so bothered that he stopped being sweet to you? And you feel sad about that. Then you started to get confused. You started to ask questions like, “What if i liked him too?“, “Why didn’t I give it a try?, “What if he’s the one? Oh, did i just let him go?”. No! It’s a big No. You don’t like him. It just make you feel good that someone appreciates you after being single for many years. You just miss his name popping up on your phone everytime. You just miss talking to him until midnight. You just miss the time his name is all over your notification on your social media account. You are just used to it, that someone is always checking on you. You just like the feeling of someone caring for you so much. Asking you questions like, “How’s your day?”, “Have you eaten already?”, “Are you home?” You just miss that “take care of yourself” messages. You did the right thing in the first place. To tell him what you really felt about him and what he is to you. That “Why didn’t I give it a try, maybe along the way I will learn to like him anyway” thought is wrong. It’s unfair. Let me tell you, what if you give it a try but it did not work the way you think? You’ll just hurt him and he doesn’t deserve it. Don’t dwindle too much on “maybe” thoughts. After all, you just did the right thing! Not giving someone hope when you’re still working on it. You’ll get over it. Remember that he’s been a good friend to you. Just treasure that.