That is certainly a beautiful view you are sharing! But I suppose you are also touching on one of the basic truths of life: Every choice we make is a tradeoff of some kind; to "have" one thing, we "forego" another. You are experiencing both freedom and confinement at the same time. It strikes me that no matter how hard we try, or what dream we might pursue, it will come with highs and lows.
Bright Blessings and Happy New Year!
Yes. Life is always a compromise. The important thing is to realise what compromises you are making and actively choose them rather than just drifting along being boxed into a corner.