Those photos are gorgeous!

You are right, life is not just for surviving. Life is for living. You have been in a difficult life situation for too long now. It's easy to say "hang on there" and "it will get better" but in the end I'm not sure it helps. The only thing that helps is that the situation really gets better... So, I'll just say that I wish from the bottom of my heart that your situation will get better soon, the worries and health issues will disappear, at least some of them, and you will have easiness and joy.