Beauty in Brokenness: What I Learned From an Injury - Gringalicious Thoughtful Thursdays

in #photography7 years ago (edited)

I was flat on my back struggling to remember how to make my lungs, that seemed to have temporarily gone on vacation, take in the air my mind was desperately in need of. The first thing I remember thinking was “What just happened?” because the it all happened so fast. Immediately after that when my eyes focused on the figures standing above me I registered the blond Gabriel and his group of athletic-looking friends behind him standing by their car that was clearly geared up for a day of trail riding. Being a single girl my thoughts (obviously) turned straight to wondering why these things only seem to happen to me in my life’s least glamorous moments. But after those quick questions ran through my head I heard the rumble of a motorcycle. My ears didn’t seem to be working completely right either, but I thought I heard a deep rough voice say something like “Did ya learn somethin’?”


Okay, let me back up a second. Firstly, happy February my friends!

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Secondly, be warned that I may be getting all sappy and personal on you guys again today. You might remember me talking about an accident I had over the Summer on a 4-wheeler. Well, I won’t rehash all the details of the story but to sum it up I ended up with a broken wrist, another wrist that was sprained but hurt almost as badly, bruises pretty much everywhere, (I think I had some cracked ribs but my doctor decided not to x-ray them to see for sure. Partly because of the other injuries and partly because there’s not much they can do about broken ribs anyway). Oh, and a knee full of dirt and gravel that required 34 stitches! It was a few days before I could use my hands at all and weeks before I could even hardly walk unassisted.

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And yes, that’s about what my knee looks like as of this moment. Not very pretty, but somehow I don’t really mind it so much. A few months ago, on a follow-up visit, my doctor said there will most likely be some scarring but it’s possible it could heal with very little sign of the injury, As strange as it may sound I was almost more disappointed to hear the chance of it healing with no scar than if it was guaranteed to leave a mark. Why? Well, because basically all of the other injuries from my accident over the summer are nearly healed and this is the last remaining piece of evidence to remind me of what I gained from the experience.

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Does it sound a bit insane to be trying to take away a positive from something so negative? For me, it’s so easy to find myself looking to blame something or someone when there’s something terrible happening. I think it’s safe to say that regardless of what beliefs we may have, all of us as humans have this innate since of fairness in life that’s deeply challenged when we’re going through tough times. I struggled with it then and I struggled with it just recently with a loved one going through something much worse. I don’t have all the answers but I do find that seeing the good in the bad can help. I love the quote “You can either let pain make you bitter, or let it make you better”.

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So back to what I started off with. Right after I’d crashed, my father, my sister, and a friend of mine were all at my side trying to assess what to do, and yes there happened to also be some young men driving by who stopped and kindly offered help. Thankfully they pulled the 4-wheeler out of the ditch for us because I don’t know if we would have been able to so easily. That’s when this middle-aged, tattooed, gruff-looking, biker dude pulled up and made that very careless remark before driving off without a moment’s hesitation or offer to help. To quote my father, he afterwards said something along the lines of “If I wasn’t so worried about my gasping daughter I’d have found it very hard not to punch the guy right in the face!” As it turns out though, despite the complete rudeness of said biker dude, I did in fact “learn somethin’.”

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I learned quite a few things over the Summer while trying to recover.

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  1. I learned to appreciate my body for everything it is rather than hate it for what it isn’t.

What an amazing thing it is to have legs that work. That can take us where we need to go and run, and jump, and bend. To have arms and hands that can lift things and create art and hold babies. In the past my relationship with health and fitness has been less than perfect. In fact, for years I thought I could punish my body into being what I thought it should be and I’ve gone through times when I’ve definitely not treated it with respect. I used to think of fitness as something really hard that I had to do. Now I can’t believe how much I’ve learned to truly enjoy it and crave activity for how good it makes me feel when I’m not trying to kill myself with it. Yoga has been amazing at helping my wrists heal and going to the gym is currently something I’m actually finding I look forward to.

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  1. I learned to take help from people

If you ask anyone who knows me you’ll know this is not my strong suit. I’m pretty stubborn in my self-sufficient, control-freak personality but when I was injured I literally couldn’t even feed myself the first few days. I had to be spoon fed by my mom like I was a toddler again. I know, the humiliation! I also couldn’t shower myself or even put clothes on. I had to learn to sit back and realize it’s a good thing to let others take care of you sometimes. Not only is it good for you and a great lesson in building relationships, but it’s a boost for the person helping you also. I’m not gonna lie, this lesson probably didn’t completely stick in my memory like it should have, but it’s there.

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  1. I learned some serious patience.

Boy, did those weeks of Summer seen endless as I sat in that stupid recliner and watched my siblings running in and out to do their different activities. I felt like it would never heal. That’s another thing I’m terrible at, sitting still. I really dislike ling car rides for this same reason, and it’s not a short attention span, I just really like, no need, to be doing things all the time or I go crazy. I thrive on productivity and being busy so not having much to do was like torture.

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  1. I learned that rest and healing are important

Isn’t it strange how something can seem like the worst thing ever in one moment and then be forgotten in the next. I mean, I remember that the combination of injuries hurt. Undoubtedly, they hurt more than any pain I’ve ever experienced, yet now looking back I can hardly remember it. Our memory of pain is so temporary yet the healing process is so important. Now that I can workout again I have to remind myself that I still need to allow time for resting. For some of the same reasons it’s necessary to let people help you, even when you want to do it all yourself, it’s also important to let your body rest and recover, even when you want to be all go go go. Not just from an injury, but also from sports and activity.

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  1. I learned that it’s okay to eat even if you can’t exercise

I used to think if I wasn’t active all the time I’d magically wake up the next day and be like one of the people at the end of the Pixar movie Wall-E in their floating chairs. I’d honestly stress out about this so much and at times through my teens when I couldn’t exercise I would just skip meals to try to make up for what I saw as a horrible thing. Of course I couldn’t be active while my arms and legs were all jacked up, but knowing this at first had me super anxious and feeling like I might resort back to some very unhealthy old habits but after realizing how much I wanted to heal, as quickly as possible, I finally started to understand that I had to fuel my body in order for it to be able to do that. Be active, but don’t feel the need to punish your body if you can’t always be. There’s a time for everything.

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So yeah, that’s my super long Thursday Thoughts post. A favorite song of mine starts off with the line “There’s beauty in my brokenness”. That line was something that I played through my head over and over this past Summer. Life sucks sometimes, that’s just a fact, but we don’t have to let it define us. I have no doubt that you’ve gone through some rough things and I’d love to know what you were able to take away from them. What’s the best things you’ve ever gotten out of a bad situation?

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And, by the way, to all the minnows out there, my intro post did a huge $0.21. The key to success on Steemit is to be consistent and persistent.

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Ah how cool gringa! I really love reading this!

I am really glad you did. What was your favorite part?

I think this is my favourite post of yours so far! I love how open and real you've been here. That sounds like a terrible accident, but i'm glad you could draw so much positivity from it! I actually was in a freak golf buggy accident and ended up injuring my neck and spine. I ended up wearing a neck brace for a while. A nerve was trapped in my spine and they thought I might be paralysed. I wasn't. In fact I got really lucky. In my recovery I felt all of those things you have mentioned here and I can TOTALLY relate. Thank you for reminding me today how beautiful life is. Especially for appreciating my body for what it is, rather than what it isn't. I'm re-steeming!

wow, the buggy accident must have freaked you out. I am really thankful to hear that all turned out well. And as you say, it gives us moments to reflect on. Thanks so much for sharing @yasminep

That was a very scary moment. I'll never forget the voice in my over the speaker in my helmet, "Daddy, Tori crashed!!" We all learned something, and continuing to learn every day. You're amazing, that I do continue to learn every day!!

All I can really remember about the good times is the fact they were good. I could go on and on about the bad times though. So many stories about those times. So much easier to remember. So much easier to talk about how good it feels to be able to get through them because it seems like there's always more to say.

Funny how those little voices can pop up out of nowhere and say things like, "Did ya learn somethin'," then vanish. I'd say you have damn good answer prepared for that guy now.

Yeah, the old guy still gets to me, it was just so weird. But, you're right, I would have an answer for him

Oh my, that accident didn't sound too good at all!! Huge respect and props to you for finding ways to turn a negative situation into some positive learnings.

One of the lessons you mentioned that resonates with me is appreciating your body for what it is. It is SO true that you don't know what you've got until it's gone and this completely applies to having a working body! You don't think how amazing it is to have two legs, two arms and ten fingers until you lose the ability (albeit temporarily) to use one or more of them.

Really glad you're on the mend :)

thanks so much for super awesome commenting @phamished, great words!!

That's a lot to go through. I'm impressed that you still have a really good attitude about it. Sometimes it takes a while to get there, but if you have a whole summer, hopefully you can find acceptance. Good for you to take the time to be introspective and evaluate what you're feeling rather than just getting down because things are going the way you would prefer them to go.

I got injured years ago and have been dealing with it ever since then. I don't have visible scars like you (hopefully? we're still going for hopefully?) will have on your knee. But I do have damage that keeps me from doing all the things I'd love to do.

I've found that it's hugely important for me to constantly remember the things I have to be thankful for. If I don't, I just focus on, "Oh, I can't do this" or "I wish I could go there." When I'm thankful for even the little things, I'm much happier! There will always be people with more/cooler/better/prettier/fill-in-the-blank, but we need to be thankful for what we have so we won't miss out on life.

Thanks for the encouragement!

Wow, thanks to you @themanwithnoname, that is awesome commenting. I hear what you're saying, and again, thanks so much!

Great post @gringalicious

wow that was hard core. I am glad you're better now

I've always appreciated your support @freerunner

A great intro to a blooming great post!! There is a lot to be learnt through coping with injury and recovery. I had a stramash a couple of years ago which rendered me unable to walk for months.

Fortunately it all got better but it was scary for a while!

I was not aware of your 'stramash.' If you have written about it, I am sorry I missed it. I cannot imagin how scary that must have been, months. Well, we're both here now, a stupid US saying, "kicking asses and taking names." I think that came from a movie, can't remember at the moment

Here, it's a good expression. We have a similar one kicking baws and cracking jaws it's a little cruder but I think the sentiment might be the same.

I did actually post about it but it was a long long time ago!!

If you have the time and inclination, if you can find a link to that, I'd love to read it

Hi my dear! I read what happened to you before, it’s so hard to make an accident, and you injured in your legs and your hand broken, ohhhhh my god, what will make without our hands and our legs, really it’s bad situation, thanks god that all return to normal, you have to be prudent next time.

As always, thanks so much for your continued support @creativewoman. yeah, I briefly wrote about this months and months ago, I am so glad you read it then too

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