Totally agree with you. Camera settings don’t matter as much as lighting.

I like to think about it in order:

1. Placement (backlight, sidelight, 1/4 frontal...)
2. Character (soft vs hard)
3. Color (gels)
4. Intensity
5. Shape

The reason I’ve learned to think about it in that order is that #1 to #3 all affect intensity, so it makes sense to care about intensity after placement, character and color.