So much of what you've written, now and then, is an echo of my own thoughts.

I have to add: "Me, too." Perhaps it is an inexorable part of being human. But, you word the struggle so much more eloquently than I ever could... your words are poetic, where my mind flails in confusion at all of it.

And yet, I think those of us who feel this existential angst, feeling rather alone in the world — despite the knowledge that there are those who love us, and feel the same way as we do — are probably the ones who are more "alive" and "sane" than the rest of the population. So, there's that, for what it is worth. Om Namah Shivaya.