Why You Aren’t a Self-Made Man even When You Think So

sharoonyasir (58)in #philosophy • 7 years ago (edited)

There is no such thing as a ‘self-made man.’ We are made up of thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us or spoken one word of encouragement to us has entered into the make-up of our character and of our thoughts as well as our success. - George Burton Adans

For a long time, I was a big believer in the self-made man concept. I believed that people who did not take any financial assistance from their parents or anyone else and attained financial success later on in their lives were self-made and did everything on their own. So when I started to earn a decent income, I started to believe that I was too a self-made woman. Although I did not realize this at that time, but believing in this phenomenon sort of fueled my arrogance and made me a kind of a swollen head.

About a year back, I read something that said ‘Great transformation do not happen on your own. You need the support of many people around you to bring about a certain positive change.’ This made me question the concept of the ‘self-made’ man. If that statement were true, it meant that all the people who claim to have achieved great victories on their own weren’t really honest about that claim. They had support, help, guidance and different sorts of contributions from their families, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, competitors and different other people around them.

For instance, take the example of Warren Buffet. He himself says that if it weren’t for his wife managing his house and keeping him in senses, he would have never have achieved the success he is renowned for now. When I read the story of Warren Buffet and how humble he is now to acknowledge the help of his wife, I started to understand the issues associated with the concept of a self-made man better. I then dug deeper into the concept and understood that it wasn’t a reality.

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Our Success is a Product of Contributions from Many People Around Us

The person that we are and the life that we have manifested for ourselves currently is a product of our life experiences and the many factors and elements we are exposed to. Keeping this in mind, the success that we experience and enjoy in any aspect of our life is also a unique concoction of the little to big favors and contributions made by others. A lesson taught by a competitor, an advice given by an elder in the family, a little guidance from someone you admire, a favor done by your sibling and many other contributions like these play a big role in taking you leaps forward.

Earlier I used to think that if I am earning a good enough income, I am doing this on the basis of my talent but after understanding that the concept of a self-made man is quite flawed, I started to analyze my situation in depth. I often used to ask my sister to come stay with me so she could look after my son and I could work during that time. I also used to visit my mother to stay at her place on the weekends so that I could work easily. Then my husband used to provide me with advices on how to earn better occasionally and that helped me grow too. Similarly, I had such help from many others around me who intentionally and unintentionally helped me achieve my daily, weekly and monthly goals.

Since that revelation dawned upon me, I have stopped believing that I am a self-made woman and as I shattered that belief, I became more humble, polite, courteous, sweet and nicer with people. I started caring more for my mother, husband and others; paid extra attention to my son who was slowly helping me become a more patient, stronger and better person; did favors for my brother whenever he asked me too since he helped me out a lot too; and became nicer generally.

There is nothing wrong with believing that you are amazing and worthy of the success you have or aiming for. However, while you nurture that belief, make sure to acknowledge the many little to big contributions by others because those factors definitely help you improve, grow and become successful.