Control over life slipping away, as finding out just how futile our attempts were to start with - and there are forces at play whose surrendering to could bring us far greater riches and fulfillment than what we'd have directed ourselves towards in our youthful immaturity.
The moment we can eliminate any illusion of control, well, that's the moment when we can and do surrender to those forces that can bring far greater prosperity than our own wits and will are capable of bringing. I have long considered this prospect and have become comfortable with the notion that my tiny little brain is simply no match for the universe.
Long ago, I took improvisation classes on a whim, as a way to get out of isolation, and out of the house. One of the first rules of improvisation is to never say "no" on stage. I kind of live my life like that now. I go with it, whatever it may be, and with intent to avoiding injury or damage to other people or property, to the greatest extent possible. I work hard to err on the side of peace.
I can't say that I'm rich, but I have prospered from holding this attitude.
Now I'm not all pollyanna, either. But I recognize when negatively comes up, that is a sign that I lack the skills to cope with the demands of my environment. People tend to go negative when their positive coping skills fail or come up short for the circumstance. When I see people get really negative, I know it's due to a lack of skills to cope.
Since I know we don't have much control over life, one of those skills that I've cultivated and nurtured is faith. Now I'm not talking about religious faith. I'm talking about a definition of faith I got from Alan Watts, author of, The Wisdom of Insecurity:
Belief clings where faith lets go.
For a more detailed explanation, go here. I equate belief with expectations, so I have worked hard to reduce the number of beliefs I must hold to be sane and whatever is left is reserved to faith, a sort of reservation of judgment, a trusting that everything will be OK. So far, it's been working well for me.
I can't say if this attitude will work well for others, but your article inspired me to share it to offer a different perspective on the topic of your article. I like to frame the topic in the context of skills because for me, anyway, that perspective gives me hope and makes faith, a reservation of judgment possible.
"Sometimes our wins may depend upon our willingness to abandon our self-images - letting go of the need for approval, and putting ourselves first before giving a fuck about what anybody thinks of us or might view us as."
I agree. Deep down it has to do with a lack of Self-Love. "I love you as much as I love myself instead of "I love myself as much as I love you" should be our directive, realizing that we can give Love to others only to the extend we love ourselves and not vice versa.
We are all Self-contained Universes having all tools within to reach that inner Peace and Joy. "As within, so without", the hermetic wisdom goes. We are the projector and the external our movie screen. Most Souls on Earth still attempt to change the movie screen instead of the projector, a method which obviously is doomed to fail. The movie screen is just the surface and the end-product, yet every tiny mechanism which shapes this end-product is being adjusted and created in the projector WITHIN.
"Embracing the full-spectrum of light and dark that resides within and eminates from us."
Exactly. Light and Dark are inevitably glued together like two sides of a coin. And only by experiencing the latter we can experience the former.
The Universe has its own order and the best way to take control of it is to not take control of it.
That being "good" is sometimes exhausting, and the expression of truly honest feelings may end up in the category of "asshole".
I describe your philosophy exactly to the phenomenon of human life today.
"Loyalty has been considered ignorant by the people".
In this comment I would like to express my gratitude for you. Because, thanks to you my stuck money in the market Bittrex has returned a few days ago. It's like snow falling in my country. Though the snow will never come down in my country of Aceh.
Maybe this is just an opportunity that I can say here. Hopefully you do not mind the submission of my gratitude in your comment field. Once again I thank you very much. Hope the health is always with you .... i like you sir.
"Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. " Nietzsche? I don't know for sure if Nietzsche said or wrote those words, but it doesn't matter who wrote them. The words are powerful. A major part about life is contradicting your own ignorance and your own knowledge. Our lives are dictated by our own ignorance. What we don't know and don't understand dictates our lives. As children, we grow up believing that our parents know everything there is to know about life, only to figure out that they actually know nothing except what they've experienced or what they were brainwashed with by the education/religious systems of psychological enslavement. But, we are all still children. We should never stop questioning each other and ourselves. Be the light and shine. Good article. Keep asking the questions nobody is asking. Shining the light into the darkness
"That none of us are perfect. And some's displays of it are outright deplorable."
Yeah sometimes being a ray of sunshine sucks balls. This is a great reminder to me that it's okay to be fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything sometimes xD That's who I wanna be some days.
It doesn't mean that I'm all one-sided one way or the other. A lot of the time it's hard to be positive and productive, even if that's what others want to see.
Even though I gotta cool it and just not give a fuck, it doesn't take away from who I am and what I stand for. We can't be righteuos best-doers 24/7, that in itself is ignorance plain and simple.
I think the greatest words that can be said by any person are...
"I don't know."
If you can admit that you don't know you simultaneously realize that you need to learn. You are not afraid to be judged for not knowing the answer to something. It is the purest honesty as you have just rejected the opportunity to bullshit your way through something and save the precious ego or reputation you think you need to uphold. If a person cannot say this simple statement, they are incapable of honesty, IMO, based on all the life I have blown through already.
I don't know purely doesn't mean you don't know, it is just shaping you in the best position to knowing more. Life itself is a teacher and we are to learn everyday from it.
my principle in life is to be inquisitive @rok-sivante jordanmccraw
This is great. It concisely stated many realizations I've had over th last few years. I was delusionally "positive" a few years ago, to the point where I was suppressing all negativity and it would come out unconsciously. I also got caught up in the productivity trap too, but now I let myself just BE when I need it. Balance is key. Everything in moderation, including moderation haha.
Whenever those negative moments happen, I simply cry it out for a while to get it out of my system. When I noticed myself over analyzing, I will stop 'entertaining' those monkey voices in my head and forgive myself, forgive others. Finally, I remind myself that I am only human and am allowed/entitled to feel the way I feel. Next immediate action is to take a good shower with the motivation that after the shower, I will do something that is focus on me and not to 'listen' to the negativities...
We are allowed to breakdown once in a while... That doesn't mean that we are not positive people... We are only human with feelings...
One of the universal truths about change is that eventually what was once a change eventually becomes the norm. I believe that people would eventually become comfortable in dorm life and in a few years, miss the dorm life.
I would suggest that people should try to accept that there will always be a level of uncomfortableness in every change and don’t try to fight those feelings. Just try to remember that eventually we will become more comfortable and it will be the new normal.
Finally, try to remember that feelings, both good and bad ALWAYS pass eventually. If you dwell on them, you give them too much power and they become stronger. Try to allow them to dwell in you for the time being, knowing that they will eventually go away. They will also come back. Developing this skill will help you deal with many challenging situations in life, especially changes.
That being "nice" gets exhausting at times, and a completely honest expression of one's feelings would probably end up being put in the "asshole" category.
I want to pick from this particular line of yours above, yes being is nice is great and most time we are nice because we want people to be nice to us in return, but the honest truth is that expecting the niceness in return might not be the smartest thing because we might end up not getting it back.
It's either we go ahead and be nice and expect less or sometimes we just do what pleases us and forget about what people will say. I have being so nice couple of times and I never got it back in return, sad but true. Thanks for sharing this great blog of wisdom which comes with somuch lessons.
I think the nugget of the article is right here:
The moment we can eliminate any illusion of control, well, that's the moment when we can and do surrender to those forces that can bring far greater prosperity than our own wits and will are capable of bringing. I have long considered this prospect and have become comfortable with the notion that my tiny little brain is simply no match for the universe.
Long ago, I took improvisation classes on a whim, as a way to get out of isolation, and out of the house. One of the first rules of improvisation is to never say "no" on stage. I kind of live my life like that now. I go with it, whatever it may be, and with intent to avoiding injury or damage to other people or property, to the greatest extent possible. I work hard to err on the side of peace.
I can't say that I'm rich, but I have prospered from holding this attitude.
Now I'm not all pollyanna, either. But I recognize when negatively comes up, that is a sign that I lack the skills to cope with the demands of my environment. People tend to go negative when their positive coping skills fail or come up short for the circumstance. When I see people get really negative, I know it's due to a lack of skills to cope.
Since I know we don't have much control over life, one of those skills that I've cultivated and nurtured is faith. Now I'm not talking about religious faith. I'm talking about a definition of faith I got from Alan Watts, author of, The Wisdom of Insecurity:
For a more detailed explanation, go here. I equate belief with expectations, so I have worked hard to reduce the number of beliefs I must hold to be sane and whatever is left is reserved to faith, a sort of reservation of judgment, a trusting that everything will be OK. So far, it's been working well for me.
I can't say if this attitude will work well for others, but your article inspired me to share it to offer a different perspective on the topic of your article. I like to frame the topic in the context of skills because for me, anyway, that perspective gives me hope and makes faith, a reservation of judgment possible.
🙏💖
"Sometimes our wins may depend upon our willingness to abandon our self-images - letting go of the need for approval, and putting ourselves first before giving a fuck about what anybody thinks of us or might view us as."
I agree. Deep down it has to do with a lack of Self-Love. "I love you as much as I love myself instead of "I love myself as much as I love you" should be our directive, realizing that we can give Love to others only to the extend we love ourselves and not vice versa.
We are all Self-contained Universes having all tools within to reach that inner Peace and Joy. "As within, so without", the hermetic wisdom goes. We are the projector and the external our movie screen. Most Souls on Earth still attempt to change the movie screen instead of the projector, a method which obviously is doomed to fail. The movie screen is just the surface and the end-product, yet every tiny mechanism which shapes this end-product is being adjusted and created in the projector WITHIN.
"Embracing the full-spectrum of light and dark that resides within and eminates from us."
Exactly. Light and Dark are inevitably glued together like two sides of a coin. And only by experiencing the latter we can experience the former.
The Universe has its own order and the best way to take control of it is to not take control of it.
Thanks for your dedicated lines!
well-said. 💗
I describe your philosophy exactly to the phenomenon of human life today.
"Loyalty has been considered ignorant by the people".
In this comment I would like to express my gratitude for you. Because, thanks to you my stuck money in the market Bittrex has returned a few days ago. It's like snow falling in my country. Though the snow will never come down in my country of Aceh.
Maybe this is just an opportunity that I can say here. Hopefully you do not mind the submission of my gratitude in your comment field. Once again I thank you very much. Hope the health is always with you .... i like you sir.
Regards @bawangmerah230
"Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. " Nietzsche? I don't know for sure if Nietzsche said or wrote those words, but it doesn't matter who wrote them. The words are powerful. A major part about life is contradicting your own ignorance and your own knowledge. Our lives are dictated by our own ignorance. What we don't know and don't understand dictates our lives. As children, we grow up believing that our parents know everything there is to know about life, only to figure out that they actually know nothing except what they've experienced or what they were brainwashed with by the education/religious systems of psychological enslavement. But, we are all still children. We should never stop questioning each other and ourselves. Be the light and shine. Good article. Keep asking the questions nobody is asking. Shining the light into the darkness
🙌🙏
Yeah sometimes being a ray of sunshine sucks balls. This is a great reminder to me that it's okay to be fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything sometimes xD That's who I wanna be some days.
It doesn't mean that I'm all one-sided one way or the other. A lot of the time it's hard to be positive and productive, even if that's what others want to see.
Even though I gotta cool it and just not give a fuck, it doesn't take away from who I am and what I stand for. We can't be righteuos best-doers 24/7, that in itself is ignorance plain and simple.
Tickled me pink today <3
😊💓
Love posts like this. Real thinkers.
I think the greatest words that can be said by any person are...
"I don't know."
If you can admit that you don't know you simultaneously realize that you need to learn. You are not afraid to be judged for not knowing the answer to something. It is the purest honesty as you have just rejected the opportunity to bullshit your way through something and save the precious ego or reputation you think you need to uphold. If a person cannot say this simple statement, they are incapable of honesty, IMO, based on all the life I have blown through already.
=)
🙌💓
I don't know purely doesn't mean you don't know, it is just shaping you in the best position to knowing more. Life itself is a teacher and we are to learn everyday from it.
This is great. It concisely stated many realizations I've had over th last few years. I was delusionally "positive" a few years ago, to the point where I was suppressing all negativity and it would come out unconsciously. I also got caught up in the productivity trap too, but now I let myself just BE when I need it. Balance is key. Everything in moderation, including moderation haha.
Whenever those negative moments happen, I simply cry it out for a while to get it out of my system. When I noticed myself over analyzing, I will stop 'entertaining' those monkey voices in my head and forgive myself, forgive others. Finally, I remind myself that I am only human and am allowed/entitled to feel the way I feel. Next immediate action is to take a good shower with the motivation that after the shower, I will do something that is focus on me and not to 'listen' to the negativities...
We are allowed to breakdown once in a while... That doesn't mean that we are not positive people... We are only human with feelings...
One of the universal truths about change is that eventually what was once a change eventually becomes the norm. I believe that people would eventually become comfortable in dorm life and in a few years, miss the dorm life.
I would suggest that people should try to accept that there will always be a level of uncomfortableness in every change and don’t try to fight those feelings. Just try to remember that eventually we will become more comfortable and it will be the new normal.
Finally, try to remember that feelings, both good and bad ALWAYS pass eventually. If you dwell on them, you give them too much power and they become stronger. Try to allow them to dwell in you for the time being, knowing that they will eventually go away. They will also come back. Developing this skill will help you deal with many challenging situations in life, especially changes.
I want to pick from this particular line of yours above, yes being is nice is great and most time we are nice because we want people to be nice to us in return, but the honest truth is that expecting the niceness in return might not be the smartest thing because we might end up not getting it back.
It's either we go ahead and be nice and expect less or sometimes we just do what pleases us and forget about what people will say. I have being so nice couple of times and I never got it back in return, sad but true. Thanks for sharing this great blog of wisdom which comes with somuch lessons.