New Year’s Resolutions – May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor…

in #philosophy7 years ago (edited)

I wrote this back in 2016 after I heard yet another person "commit" to their New Year's Resolutions. Since we're at the tail end of when your resolutions start to fall apart, if they already haven't, this might be helpful. You didn't stand a chance from the get-go. Or have you? Prove me wrong...

This is a long post, so here’s a summary for you:

New Year’s Resolutions (NYR) suck. 50% of Americans make them, and only 8% see long-term success. 92% are falling victim to their own best intentions, even though they’re not even remotely close to committing to changes they are ‘resolute’ about.
Especially as you’re buying into ‘heavily discounted’ gym memberships, diet fads, quitting smoking, eating better, having more sex, etc. you’re making a colossal mistake. Don’t buy into it – you’re not ready to commit to that level. This is not reverse psychology, it is simply the truth.

Enter “New Life Resolutions” (NLR). It all depends on your emotional state of readiness, your planning and who is in your corner to see you through. “It takes a village” as no person has every succeeded completely on their own. What doesn’t work and how we make it work, is in this article. Enjoy!

Certainly, turning a new leaf on the calendar, then taking a few weeks to finally write the correct year, flavored with a little bit of peer pressure and ‘this is how we always do it’, and you’re all set to commit to ‘changing’ what the next year holds in store. Sounds about right? Good!

Here’s the bad news: Statistically, you have a 92% chance of failing.

Ok, I side with you; “Demotivational” – that is not how an article should start. So, let’s call it something different: A ‘realistic’ assessment of what works and what doesn’t work. Of course, as always, this post has a slant toward the human condition, but not without applicable data. But, let’s start at the beginning…

December 31st, the last day to go all-out, party it up, eat unhealthily, etc., because tomorrow, January 1st, it’s all going to change. Those who do make commitments mostly do so, because we feel compelled to use “Day 1” of the New Year. We are dead-set to achieve our goals, realize our visions and kick the New Year in the pants with all the might and conviction we can muster.
The proverbial “starting line” of the New Year – The New You, makes us feel as if we’re ready to go all-in. This isn’t dissimilar to project management: You are in charge, you know the goal, you created your marching orders and you’re fired up! While you’re revving your engine, let’s look at some of the disillusioning data. Some of that data, you may already have experienced.

The overall data:
Every year, 50% of Americans make their New Year’s resolution. Of the 50%, only 75% make it through the first week. 60% make it through the first month and only 8% succeed with their resolutions in the long term, introducing an overall rate of failure of 92% (the University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology). That’s pretty sobering if you ask me. Obviously, something about those NYRs is flawed.

**What are we banking on doing after the 1st? **
Arguably, positive self-improvement goals are on the very top of mind of most who make an effort to changing their lives in the New Year. It’s also to no surprise, that January is the most advertised time for gym-specials, Nicorette, diet books, etc. Incredible deals are courted to the very doors of your social media profiles and maybe some of your family, friends or colleagues ‘coerce’ into joining them for ‘accountability’ reasons.

For the remaining part of this piece, I'll stick to the idea of 'getting fit', since it appears to be the most widely abused NYR.

Before you fall victim to yet another snazzy workout video, showing some amazingly well-rounded rump, sweat glistening skin and overall buff people, read a little about ‘how to select the right gym’.

By the numbers:
Why is the $62 billion (NYTimes) fitness industry barking at your Facebook profile every day?
New chain-gym memberships come in January, representing about a 33-50% increase in big-box gym’s volume. The second week of January is almost always the busiest of the year. Your recycling of New Year’s Resolutions makes this possible and the fitness industry, especially the big box gyms with low rates, not guidance and even less knowledge, are counting on the blank cheques your commitment cannot cash.

80% of the New Years Resolutions crowd drops off by the second week of February. Meaning only 20% remain, and the rate of sign-ups tapers off by February. Big box gyms typically sell memberships with the expectation that a mere 18% of people will actually use them (IHRSA).

What’s happening here?
You see, the truth is simple: there are New Year’s Resolutions (NYR) and then there are “New Life Resolutions” (NLR). They may sound similar, but in truth, they have very little to do with one another. You may think that I went a little harsh on the NYR crowd, but when you look at the numbers, you know that I’m merely stating your truth – just as much as it used to be my truth, or the truth of your neighbor, friend, family member…you get the idea. The gist is, we committed to a time-bound transaction with ourselves, disregarding our true state of readiness.

Before you have an “OMG, he’s going psycho-babble on me now!” knee-jerk reaction, read me out.
The reason that you’re falling off the self-conducted bandwagon, is because you didn’t stand a chance to see your commitment through.
You were never truly ready to make the change that you envisioned – you missed the catalyst.
There was no emotional decision-making point that dialed your entire system into, much less have you found the necessary guidance to see your changes through. You didn’t plan for nutrition education, physical and emotional fitness and you haven’t set the stage to surround yourself with people who want the same results for themselves. You set a socially accepted, arbitrary date to be the arbiter of your change.

In other words, you victimized yourself before you even had a chance to truly fail.

Granted, that’s quite the beat down. I admit to that. But, I also won’t just stop here, because there are solutions to your planning stages, even when you’re now reading this with a very raised eyebrow and your BS sensor on high alert.

The reality is that you’ve become conditioned to your lifestyle and breaking free isn’t as easy as just making a New Year’s Resolution. It takes commitment and planning, but even more importantly, it takes knowledge and guidance. Unless you have oodles of time on your hands to educate yourself through the right sources and then act self-guided and motivated, you may find that your own worst obstacle.

The Blueprint: SMART(E) EFFORT
Before I dive into this, none of it is new. SMART goals are an old management tactic, I added the "E" for emotional, because at the end of the day if you're not emotionally buying into the plan, it's all for naught anyway. The EFFORT framework comes from Todd Herman, a Canadian dude. I forgot his exact verbiage for it all, but the concept resonated enough with me that I adopted and then adapted it.

It all starts with S.M.A.R.T.(E) goals. Yes, those goals you’ve heard a million times about in the numerous project meetings you’ve been in. However, it only STARTS there, and anyone who tells you that this is all it takes to get a clue, …has no clue. If you’re raising your eyebrow upon the addition of the (E) – keep reading, we added (E) for a very specific reason. 🙂

In case you’re unfamiliar with what S.M.A.R.T.(E) stands for, in regards to goal setting, it’s: (this version is adapted for fitness)

Specific: Well defined and solely for you

Measurable: Determine your starting point and end goal in a quantitative manner

Agreeable: Are you acting in accordance with your beliefs

Realistic: Is everything you need actually available to you and within reason

Time-Based: Enough time to achieve the goal

(E)motional: Are you emotionally invested in your goal, or as they say “How bad do you want it?” a.k.a.: “What’s your why”. Since I’m at the point of “what’s your why” – in every marketing seminar, the ‘guru’ tells you that you have to tell people what their ‘why’ is. Frankly, if we need to tell you about yourself, then we’re about as useless as the marketing guy up front. You know your “why”, what you don’t really know is the “how” and how they tie together.

The S.M.A.R.T methodology has been around for eons and even though I added the (E)motional component into the mix, it is still not offering groundbreaking news.

If you’re actually going through the exercise of determining your SMART(E) goal, you’ll learn one thing rather quickly: You’ll get six individual headlines, but none of the REAL and ACTIONABLE content.

This is where the EFFORT acronym comes into play. One caveat to the continuation: while you were able to complete the SMART(E) worksheet yourself, the “real and actionable” content thrives through adequate assistance, dedicated to your success: The E.F.F.O.R.T framework is where your success is rooted within and it rides directly under the S.M.A.R.T.(E) headlines. EFFORT stands for:

Execution – headlines are great, but to execute against them, you will need to know what to do and how to do it best. This is where professional guidance comes into play. Whether you’re working on nutrition, fitness or performance, you have to focus on the task at hand, the professional who steers your progress with knowledge. In short, a professional coach can greatly aid your execution.

Feedback Loops – beyond ‘just’ doing it, you’ll need someone who’s capable of providing you with adequate, accurate, timely, necessary and professional feedback. Otherwise, your risk for injury increases exponentially, your performance may stagnate and your overall progress may be negatively impacted by not having someone at your side who is invested in providing you with the Feedback Loop you need.

Focus – every adult has a ton of competing responsibilities in the course of their days. Whether it’s ‘only’ work-related or work and children, or kids’ sports, etc. James Altucher made some valid points in "Choose Yourself", in that you have to focus on your own progress. Think of your last flight. The flight attendant told you to put your own mask on first before you help your neighbor. In short, focus on helping yourself first, or you're of no good use to anyone else.

Obstacles – no, it’s never just a smooth ride from point A to point B. There are bumps in between, setbacks, days where you’re super-pumped and days where you don’t want think about your NYR. When it’s about overcoming obstacles, addressing them and working through them, that’s when your coach proves to be invaluable. The antidote to obstacles is reliability. If your coach is reliable, which is more than just showing up but showing genuine interest in your progress, then you’ll have a higher likelihood to achieve your goal.

Revisions – when you started, you defined an end goal. As you’re on your path, the end goal may change, or the path of how you approach your goal may need to be modified. Do you have the tools and knowledge that it takes to make those revisions yourself, or would you prefer a knowledgeable professional to take care of your plan revisions? In truth, it’s both. It’s your path, thus you have to know whether your defined end-goal has changed, or if there’s anything in your current path that plagues you. Then it becomes your coach’s responsibility to forge a new approach, a revision to the old plan, to see you through to your goal. Above all, though, remain flexible. You may achieve more. You may achieve less. Just. Keep. Moving.

Toughness – this is the part that may suck the most. Toughness is the element when you turn down the additional beer or that amazing looking slice of pizza, but you still show up to get your work done. Social engagements may suffer. It’s tough, but you’re on a path and you have too much invested and even more to look forward to, provided that you're accomplishing your goals.

Certainly, both elements S.M.A.R.T.(E) and E.F.F.O.R.T are applicable concepts, especially when I explain them in wholesome language that fits for everyone – so, what’s missing?

The one thing that no one tells you in today's society.

It's OK to give up

If something isn't for you. If it's not what and how you envisioned it. Stop it. It's that simple. Try things. Explore them. Make sure that you understand enough about the path that may lead to your goal, that you can allow yourself an informed decision. If you're cutting yourself short on learning about your path, you're wasting your time and the time of those who help you along the way. If you, however, explore your path in honesty, and even if it's only to form an educated opinion, you'll find that you have solid and justified reasons to abandon your goals, rather than half-assing excuses that everyone sees through anyways.
Give 100%. Go all in. Explore your path to the fullest. If it IS your path. Stay in and continue to give 100%. If it is NOT your path, withdraw to 100%. As long as you give 100% in either direction, none of the statistics cited above will apply to you. Everything shy of 100%, is just reducing you to being another number in the statistics of failures.

In case you're still with me.... Are you still thinking about your New Year's Resolutions, or has your thinking shifted to actually making functional changes, independent of an arbitrary date? ;)

Cheers,
Zeitgeist - Out.

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