So this might be something a bit controversial to think about, and it might not even be entirely true. However, I'm having a hard time disagreeing with myself about this, as much as I'm trying to. Yes, of course, you read that's right, that is exactly how I decide on what I've decided. And you also read that correctly.

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No doubt my thoughts on this matter are completely subjective too. I mean, attempting to say that I know what everyone is thinking or how everyone thinks is one of those claims I'm not ready to make. That being said, I've attempted to dissuade myself from these thoughts by asking as many people as I can if they can see my point, or if they don't feel the same way at all.

Life is precious, yes... but

Ok, maybe using the word "but" is probably triggering enough, but hear me out for three seconds. Or better yet, let's ask some diffusing questions, the kind that are meant to bring one's guard down a bit.

• Is all life precious? - What about viruses, diseases and such, are they precious too?
• Is all life precious in the same way? - What about a life well lived, what about a missed opportunity?
• Can life be different levels of precious at different times? - like someone turning his/her life around, becoming an agent of good, or the opposite for that matter.

Yes, no doubt, you've read all these questions and have ten thousand more, but hopefully they've diffused your mind enough as to not react with anger to the initial "but..." - I think the conversation gets a bit complicated, more than it should (imo) when we attempt to equate everything, every lifeform. Because, no doubt we may be able to hold some positions as beautifully idealistic goals, yet in practice we know it could never truly be the case. As hard as a decision might be to make, most humans will choose to save innocence first.

Innocence...

Of course life and innocence are not mutually exclusive. One does not require to be innocent to be alive, but the relationship does not work both ways. It would be hard to speak in present tense and establish the innocence of someone or something who is not alive anymore.

So, at least we can establish that in order for innocence to be present the condition of life must be met. At least in that respect there is a common ground to build a logical argument for my somewhat confusing idea.

Why compare?

The reason why I've been thinking about this lately is probably more connected to the loss of my pet cat. She recently passed, and of course, like many others who love pets, I'm having a hard time accepting it. In the same breath I say that, I'm also aware that she had a good life, she lived 17+ years with a family that loved her. So, why would I be upset? Logically speaking, that is.

Maybe the abstract answer is because I lost an element of Innocence. Maybe the reason why we can't stand when our pet dog dies, or even when we see a little critter pass on, is not because of the life itself, but because the pet, the little animal was innocent, and that beautiful thing is now lost.

Maybe its a stretch, I will grant you that. But, I'm sure I don't stand alone when I say that I don't value all life, as ugly as such statement will sound. When a horrible dictator of a terribly ran country has died, I've not only not been sad, I've been happy. Does that make me a bad person? - I'm not sure, but I heavily doubt it. I guess, I'm trying to draw the parallels, the complex interactions between innocence and life, because when I know someone is not innocent at all, I can't seem to care too much about their life per say.

Allow me to explain a little bit longer before you thing I'm turning into a sociopath. What I'm trying to say here, is that a life that has no innocence is not as valuable as one that does. Maybe it's a gradient too. Possibly talking about this in absolutes is very futile, so I won't even attempt it. No doubt it's connected to perspective and bias as well.

What do you think? Am I making any sense? Do you not feel like even if a dog was not a "good boy" ate your shoes, pooped on the carpet or what have you, his life is precious because of innocence?