I love this post. It definitely takes skill and lifelong practice to learn to trust and listen to emotions while also maintaining "higher-order thinking" at the same time.
Though some have a shorter fuse and quick "temper", I believe we all have the primal instinct to defend ourselves in the midst of an argument. The fight or flight kicks in just as if we are under a physical threat. Even if the argument is occurring with someone we love and cherish, the rush of emotion will still flood in to prepare us to defend.
It is so important for us to stay focused in these types of situations and consciously override that innate reaction that too often ends horribly with regret and damaged relationships.
I like how you addressed how we don't need to rely too heavily on emotion because what feels good may not always be good for us. I am doing research currently that looks at whether some people are more sensitive to pleasurable feelings, and whether it is correlated with drug-seeking behavior. The emotions are not always right and can definitely lead you down the wrong path if you're not careful!
And by the same token, emotions can be so helpful in helping us assess situations and "vibes."
It is a delicate, tricky balance for sure!
Yes, I think I commented it as a forever process above. I am not sure if that is a thing but if it isn't, here it is on the blockchain ;)
The balance is tricky indeed but awareness of the system allows an opportunity to discover and adjust more sensitively.
I do think that some are more sensitive to pleasure or fear pain more than others but under the right circumstances, we are all potential addicts of something.
I do not know the James-Lange theory of emotion I actually do not read very much about other theories as I find I am too easily influenced and will defer my own thinking to someone else's. I may be often wrong, but it is I that am wrong and will take the responsibility for it :)