Sadly, many of the stories from the movies and books that we admire – it's just a love addiction. When in a melodrama or series show passion, suffering, care, parting, forgiveness and tears, know – no it is not love, a real disease, and close to drug addiction or alcoholism. Moreover, it has a code-F63.9, that is, it belongs to the category of addictions like gambling, kleptomania or the same alcoholism or drug addiction. But how do you stop loving a man who doesn't love you?

What is the difference between love addiction and love

Sometimes love addiction is called Adele syndrome, after the daughter of Victor Hugo. This girl devoted her life to the pursuit of an ordinary officer, traveling for his garrison and throwing his endless letters. As a result, the poor Adele got into a psychiatric hospital. However,with the poor girl, everything is clear: a lot of junk on the head of relatives, the death of the sisters, Yes, and Hugo is not just deduced in the novels images of people with a love addiction: Claude Frollo, Eponine, Esmeralda – all of them can be diagnosed with the code F63.9.

What are the symptoms of this disorder?

• First of all, you are fixated on this relationship, moreover, all the vital forces are directed precisely to the fact that this person is achieved.
• In addition, you are 1000% sure that he is your true destiny and no one else.
• You are ready to bend, or rather even to lie to the man's feet and forgive him literally everything.
• You're not interested in nothing and nobody, friends, Hobbies, and work not depart on the second plan, and for about the hundredth;

In the early stages of love addiction is accompanied by euphoria, then more and more plunges you into depression and moments of recovery are rare.

An incredible desire to have it, turning into a sense of ownership. Often this is accompanied by manic surveillance of a person, intrusiveness, constant calls and begging for meetings. You don't leave him any space. So, mentioned Mrs. Hugo bought a meeting with the object of his passion, and paid his debts, even with your money, ordered him prostitutes. However, was she more inappropriate behavior. So, once the girl invited the hypnotist and with his help almost married a boring officer on himself…

By the way, do not think that love addiction is only a woman's trouble. Men, too, can create itself idol, refuse to live in reality and lose interest to everything, except his idol.

But the main thing is that it is not love, which brings only positive and makes you move forward, and also gives your loved one freedom, it is hypertrophied instinct of the owner.

As a rule, this disease is accompanied by depression and apathy. But the most difficult thing is that after years of love addiction can come another-still, it is a problem of the individual, not a coincidence. Therefore, before you overcome love addiction, you need to do a lot of work on your soul and psyche.

And most importantly-to understand that love should not bring suffering and be unrequited. You just can't waste yourself on something like that.

You can check how your feelings affect you. Remember when you last smiled, if you lost interest in your hobby and friends, if you often have a good mood and if you have become more attractive. If Yes, then your feeling is healthy and it is definitely not a love addiction. By the way, the appearance of this disease is also changing the worst side, while a loving person only becomes more beautiful.

Reasons: Hugo is not to blame

In fact, the reason for the disease is not that we impose such a relationship in books, songs and melodramas. In fact, everything lies in our relationship with our parents, or rather, in their attitude towards us.

First of all, the risk group includes those who had authoritarian mothers. It is the fact that we have not got rid of emotional and psychological dependence on the mother, and affects the emergence of adult love addiction.

Also, love-dependent people often come across among those who did not receive love from their parents in childhood. Of course, such a person will look for love. If the parents often left the child alone, he will be afraid of being rejected all his life.

If the child is inspired that he is bad, trying to prove that it is not, too, can turn into a love disease. Often mothers frighten the child that will give it to an orphanage or leave on the street. In any case, a person who grew up in such conditions is unlikely to be self-sufficient, because it will look for half: he does not even imagine that you can be happy and in itself.

Can also love addiction, if the child indulged in all his desires (and this can provoke the same instinct of the owner), if the parents watched every step and controlled his whole life, deciding what the child wants and what is not.

But not only parents can be guilty. If a person has no Hobbies and no friends, then such emptiness can be filled with unhappy love.

And quite happy people with normal self-esteem can happen, especially if a loved one has invested a lot of effort.

With low self-esteem and uncertainty that a person may like someone, there is a fear of losing "half", which also grows into dependence.

Another reason is unrequited love in adolescence. It is after her that the fear of loneliness may appear.

However, there are still many reasons, and their elimination can be the key to a happy relationship.

How to overcome it

How to stop loving a man who doesn't love you? First of all, we go to a therapist and look for the root of all the trouble. Only from this stove and you need to dance. Forgive me father, who thought you were inferior, I'm sorry mom, decide your fate for you.

To work with low self-esteem will need training and therapy. You will also need to find and work out the trauma, as well as learn to be a self-sufficient person. After that, you need to learn new behaviors.

If the relationship for you is the only source of joy in life, it is important to find new goals in life, as well as new interests.

Yes, the fight against love addiction is a serious work with a professional. But you can start it yourself.

First of all, understand that you for your feelings no one should. It's not cruel, not at all. Just think of it as pointless to give all of yourself and everything to someone who doesn't need it. This sacrifice makes no sense.

Further. It is not necessary to idealize the man you love unrequited. He's not a God, he can swear or not take a bath. He's just a normal person with a lot of flaws. And now think about why it came together the whole world a wedge. Surely there are no less gentle and kind and just as great lovers. And affection and love can be obtained from friends and family. So, often communicate with them and enlist their support. Not only this person can give you happiness: you can find it in friends, and in children, and in interesting work...

Try to avoid common with the object of his unhappy love. Well, if you move out of town at all.

Throw away all the things that remind you of your addiction.

Also, take care of yourself. Just direct all this love on yourself and this feeling will be mutual for sure.