Depression? I don't know...

I was talking to Khlayla -my aunt- last week, and she said: "You seem like the happiest person but also like the most depressed"

I guess I have been both, and sometimes I am still both. Maybe we all are?

What is depression?

I don’t like this word. It's a medical term for a psychological state - "illness".

I wasn't ill.

But I almost was, and still can become

This is life.

Sometimes we are hopeful and optimistic, and sometimes we are full of doubts, worries, and unrest.

Sometimes we are strong, and sometimes we become weak.

We know we are not perfect. Yet, we push hard on ourselves.

Competing with others. Running after our own validation through the others. Living in unbreathable spaces. Running after love, but escaping from ourselves and our monstrosity. And worst of all, we sometimes find ourselves living a life we didn't really choose and we feel the urge to escape.

Our modern life doesn't make things easy. That's why more and more people are getting "depressed".

But what is this damned illness?

Something is going on in our mind for sure but it's not an illness.

I believe it's simply a lack of knowledge on how to live.

No one ever told us how to live in peace with ourselves. How to deal with everyday emotions. How to deal with uncertainty. How to deal with desires...

...No one ever told us what true love is. What really matters in life.

What we are here to do.

We hold some personal answers to these but we mostly discover them as we live, as we go through life and experience it.

I don't pretend to have answers, far from it. I'm simply living and discovering for myself like everyone else.

But maybe because we are all the same somehow, sharing my story could serve.

Truly yours,

Nad