Why does negativity keep us negative?
Anyone that's been reading my posts for very long is probably aware that I believe in LoA (Law of Attraction). I usually focus on how to increase positivity and attract things I do want into my life, but today I want to look at the other side of the dynamic. Why do negative people stay negative and constantly attract negativity into their lives? How do we break negative thought cycles and patterns? Most importantly, how do we let go of people that are holding us in negative cycles? I'll do my best to answer these questions from my perspective today and hopefully this will help someone.
I feel that the first two questions go hand in hand and are integral to each other. When we have a negative mindset, and yes we all get them from time to time, we are much more likely to be looking for negative outcomes in everything that happens. The problem I've found is that we tend to manifest our own reality by thinking it into existence, and while this works well from a positive mindset, it's equally detrimental from a negative mindset. I feel that our mindset reinforces everything that happens as a sort of self fulfilling prophecy. For example, let's say we got a flat tire on the way to work, with a negative mindset that can easily snowball from "my car's always holding me back" to "my boss is a jerk" to "I'm going to get fired today." With a positive mindset it would be more along the lines of "flat tires are unfortunate" to "I should call my boss and explain what happened" to "I really had no control over getting a flat tire, so my boss should understand that." Obviously it's not a perfect world and sometimes your boss is irrational, but it doesn't mean you go around assuming the worst case scenario at all times.
Once we realizes how fundamentally different the thought processes are, the way that I go about leaving a negative mindset is to be grateful for what I do have and I do know and to not worry about things I do not know. This requires that we remove assumptions and stop presuming to know what and how everyone will react before hand. If we approach our boss with the mindset of "my boss is a dick and going to fire me" vs "my boss will understand that I did not intentionally get a flat tire," we are most likely going to have an entirely different way of presenting ourselves and communicating with them. If we can become aware of that and how our mindset controls our mannerisms and vocabulary as well as our general attitude about life, then it's all a matter of stopping those negative thoughts and assumptions as they come and being grateful for the rest. For instance you could be grateful that even though you got a flat tire, you didn't get in a wreck, or if you did get in wreck, that you are still alive and able to be thinking about the fact that it happened at all. There's always room to be grateful in life and sometimes it's just the little things.
The last question is the one that I find people get hung up on the most. I also find the problem of when to let go to be the most difficult as well, but it does get easier with a positive mindset and approaching others with gratitude. I feel that there is never any need to hang on to anyone, people are always coming and going in our lives, and while there are some that I'd like to hang on to that I meet, that desire has to be mutual to be in any way beneficial. There are always excuses for hanging on to toxic people that we should let go of and I'm not going to waste time trying to convince anyone that their beliefs or logic is trivial, but blood relation, time invested, and the belief that we love someone are never going to be valid reasons to maintain a toxic relationship from my perspective. I've justified it in the past using those reasons and once I realized that I can still respect and love people even if I have to walk away from them and let them figure things out on their own, I no longer feel guilty about doing so when I have to. Sure they may not be very happy with us for walking away, but we all deserve to be happy and if people are inhibiting our happiness, then we deserve to walk away and let them find their own happiness while we maintain ours. Namaste.
That's so right. For example I am always late to work and my boss keeps telling me to send a message with how long I'll be late, but I never did because I thought she will be mad anyway. But it happens that in the morning I sent a message with how long I'll be late and she was very happy.
She was probably grateful that she knew you were on the way and could adapt. :)
good post, really we should be positive and have good intentions all the times.
Thank you for your reflection. I used to be one of those people that would not get out of toxic environments. The negative energy really can start to inhabit a space. I had thought that my overwhelmingly positive, even keel could weather being in constant close proximity to negativity, but over time it can wear a body (and spirit) down. It is hard to let go, but often in the end it's letting go of something that was not real to begin with. And that is the part that sometimes hurts more.
Thanks for the topic!
I agree, thanks for sharing your perspective as well. :)
I tend to make a positive thinking about my life because it just makes positive results.
I agree! Great outlook.
Love the way you ended this... we do deserve happiness, even if it means cutting some ties. Great post and namaste. :)
Similar is attracted to similar to themselves. Negative people attract negativity. I don't want to think about the bad. Life is short. Better to spend it on the positive and be grateful for everything good in my life. When the car pulls the wheel, I think maybe it's a sign for me:" don't hurry " . I'm not upset because of the delay of flight. Perhaps this is also a sign. "Miss trouble." Someone will say that this is nonsense. But I checked. It works for me. Thanks for Your post,@clayboyn
Agreed and it works for me as well. :)
I need to remind myself of this more often. Great thoughts!
The perpetual state of reminding ourselves of everything. :)
Great post @clayboyn I've been thinking about the toxic relationship part of your post a bit lately
Thank you, love your way of presenting these ideas.
I'm glad the resonate with you! :)
We actually become what we think.. That's why we nerd to be positive always