Stoic Bro: converting Marcus Aurelius' Meditations into Bro-speak

There has been a huge uptake in the past year of mainstream 'bro science' types adopting stoicism and stoic outlooks.

Over all I think that this is a great thing for the world, the inward looking ness of stoicism can benefit everyone and building my own stoic practice has helped me out tremendously.

And honestly it was these same bro science and life hacker types that lead the horse that is me to water. So now in honor of them I have translated several of Marcus Aurelius' meditations into bro speak.

Bro, people all talk shit. Opinions are like assholes man. Even the shit we see is just, like, relative man, not the truth

this modernized piece of wisdom is of course derived from:

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Bro, you OWN your brain - not all these haters. Figure that out, and bro you'll be swole

Getting and maintaining one's swole is clearly the goal, not only in ones physique but also for ones brain dawg. Truer now than ever is it not? This was translated from:

You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

Shit that's weak AF for the pledge is gonna suck for the whole frat

Great wisdom can be found in these ancient writings can they not?

That which is not good for the bee-hive cannot be good for the bees.

Life is short bro, YOLO

And of course the best of them all

Confine yourself to the present.

based on how this is received I may make some more of these