Challenging myself to be less vengeful and reactive when insulted in debates and such.
So.. I've been thinking about it.. And.. I'm going to challenge myself to react and attack less those who are being disrespectful to me and others.
This is weird! Cause.. I strongly believe in defending yourself and others and I feel like it helps most of the time to not be weak spined and show others that you won't be fucked with.
However.. I also often feel bad when I utterly destroy someone for being stupid and arrogant.. Like.. Did I really need to go that far?
But.. I feel like, if someone attacks me.. I have to attack them back hard enough that they will think twice next time.
Though.. I had a phase in the past where I was much more controlled.. And it didn't bother me what people said cause I knew they were wrong or full of shit or confused or whatever.
And.. There's a lot of power in that mindset! When someone insults you expecting you to get pissed off, and you don't.
Many don't even know how to respond. Cause they operate in a way in which they basically thrive off of confrontation and arguing.
Especially with social media, like if someone says you're an idiot or whatever.. You have an extra desire to sort of attack back cause.. You know a bunch of people might see that..
Seems to me like most people don't want to be seen as someone who just takes abuse and doesn't fight back, it makes them look like a lil bitch so to speak.
When someone attacks me, I feel like I have to destroy them, and I'm really good at it..
YET.. What if.. I just tried to be more patient and understanding?
Sometimes I watch other debates that just devolve into shit slinging and I think to myself.. They might have actually made some real progress if they genuinely were trying to learn and not just be seen as "right".
Maybe I'd make more friends and even help change peoples minds more..
Cause let's face it.. USUALLY when people are fighting and insulting each other, they are much less likely to be receptive to your message.
Also.. i feel like I've been pretty good over the years, I never insult or attack people without REALLY good reason.
Either because me or someone I care about was attacked first, or because they are just promoting pure evil or horribly immoral things.
Though.. I'm thinking a lot lately that.. I don't wanna give them that power over me.. I don't want someone to easily be able to bring out the beast in me..
People should REALLY have to work hard to bring the beast out, and then they should be fucking terrified when it ever actually does happen.
So in summary.. I'm going to challenge myself and make a really good effort to not insult people as much as possible.
To be really straight forward.. There's WAY TOO MUCH hate out there.. And on some level, I'm feeding into it when I snap at everyone so quickly and easily.
I don't want to feed into that as much anymore.. I wanna try to be much more leveled and calm and understanding and eloquent in my responses.
Yeah I think that's a healthy mindset. If someone really annoys me I insult them while I'm still editing my post, but then I make it neutral when I send it off, because I realise it's just unnecessary.
Lol! That's a good idea! But on another hand.. I remember in a book called something like.. "Barroom brawling, how to deal with the sucker puncher, etc etc etc a really long title" the guy taught that you should train how you plan to fight. So.. If you're sort of practicing one way, then that might come out reflexively in a real situation.. In your case you're still programming your mind to insult, even if you edit it out at the end. So, in real life.. You may let things slip more often.. I dunno if that's true, but it makes an amount of logical sense.. So.. I'm trying to just, not even type in the bad stuff, but I admit.. I've already had to delete a couple things cause after reflecting more on it, I realized it was too confrontational so to speak. So far, I'm enjoying trying though! It's good for self control to not reactively just let loose all the time.
Upvoted and Followed. Self-Reflection is very important. Looking back at past interactions and emotions throughout stressful situations is vital for growth as a human in my opinion. It's something practicing martial arts has taught me. I feel the same way about what you said regard hate too. There is far too much of it. People seem to have so much animosity built up in this day and age, it's really quite a phenomenon. Thanks for the post @apolymask - Check my stuff out too, I also reflect on myself in blog form sometimes.
Thanks for the upvote and follow, I'll check your page out as well.
I agree self reflection is super important. I realize that more and more the older I get. I also agree that martial arts is a great tool in regards to such. I'm grateful I got into martial arts at a young age.
And yeah.. I agree.. Too much hate in the world, Ima do my part to not feed into it too much.
I concede, please don't utterly destroy me :))
I have so much more stuff to doo..
Very well! Mercy hath been shown. :) Lol.
This is reacting out of a survival mindset. Sounds like you're pretty good at "survival," so you're free to move on to other goals like "understanding" both of yourself and of others. Then you can share this understanding with others. Of course you're already doing this to a significant degree. Seems like you're re-calibrating though.
Exactly! Plus, you're more receptive to learning something new if you're not in "defense mode."
It's easy to get offended. But it's also easy not to get offended when attacked, if you let go of pride. Having an accurate understanding of yourself is humility, and it brings wisdom and balance to the ego.
Questioning your beliefs will bring you closer and closer to truth. While you're on this path, there is nothing to be offended about. Everything is a learning experience. Every perspective is valuable. When people have negative opinions of you, it's someone's perspective, and it's information. It doesn't seem as much like an attack.
When people attack, they're likely doing it out of some kind of pain. That's an opportunity for a win-win. Or at least a chance to shine some light on someone's darkness. Light = Love.
People who are being disrespectful are people that were not properly brought up to be good human beings. I would say you should continue to ignore those kind of people and try not to let what they say get to you, because such people dont have control of who they are and would always show you the kind of character they are made of. Its better not to waste an ounce of energy or emotion on such people.
Not sure I totally agree.. But I appreciate and respect your sentiments.. I think some people are worthy of trying to help, but.. Some are just beyond help.. The important thing is realizing the difference and knowing when to stop because someone is beyond help.