"ULOG About Health: Are you one of those? Have problem like I have? Depression Is my big enemy" (SO sharing of this to feel better maybe one of you have this problem)

The most hurting part of my life is to have a problem in my spinal cord that can cause paralyze :(,
But most hurting part is after two months I give birth to my son I have this problem and even cannot take my son in my arms that's the most hurting part if you are a mother, When I see any mother carried there child I can only look with envy that I cannot carried my child anymore because is not allowed to me to cargo any heavy objects due to my condition:(.
People see me that I'm strong and healthy outside but inside is killing me slowly , because maybe I don't show what I feel and still bring smile and act normal due to my condition but when I'm alone I feel depress and don't go out for a month only stay in bed, When I see sunlight and people I feel like melting and very awkward with scared like they eat me, My depression hobbit is to eat more and more and don't see that I gain so much weight and that's not allowed to me to gain weight because of my back problem, Because in that moment only eating makes me happy and comfort of my sadness.

Example photos only:

In This Photo Show How Dangerous my condition that my lumbar 5 disc go out and get stuck to my nerve.

How many years past after so many check up, MRI, The doctor said the same opinion that I must undergo surgery,
I make 5 opinion to different doctor and they have the same answer :(,
But I don't follow there decision due to financial problem and do only physical theraphy that maybe any miracle happened to my condition,
At first I had so much pain that I cannot even walk and also 2 times have problem because of my condition another problem is to have scoliosis too my body not straight and equal I spend my life lying down while giving breastfeed to my son and take so many pain killer to live normal life and go to therapist place and also go to my son pediatrician for his check up too,
I cannot stand long and sit long only lying down is the purpose when I cannot drink pain killer,
I dont stop to my therapy and do recommend exercise everyday to straighten my back and feel better ,
I make everyday what doctor say and right now I feel better but still my back condition is the same I have only less pain I can walk any hours and sit too but mostly lying down is more convenient,
I don't take pain killer now I must only careful and strict of my doing, My son is Now 3 years old and still I cannot take him. IN my condition I do everything what makes me happy and enjoy life like no more tomorrow so if one day I cannot walk anymore and paralyzed I do my the best in last moment so I will be not regret in the end.

The most important now for me that I can take care him and my husband even I have this problem, But if ever in the future we Have money I think I still go for surgery if its not to late for me :(, and I dont know how to find sponsor charity for this :(, Guys maybe you can help me for vote this and reestem this my story because every coins I have is for my saving for my condition and if ever I have the exact money I can go to surgery as soon as possible :(, please upVote and comment is big help for me . better ask vote than asking money to other people.

"HEALTH IS WEALTH"
(Even you have millions, billions you can not buy health, Money Can be gone but ones your health gone you cannot fix it 100% anymore, Only miracle and trust to the lord can heal you,
That's what I believe in the past but now still hoping that maybe anybody can help my condition financially and do the risk for surgery to live normal again.)

Ps: So sorry for my grammar I hope you still understand.

Thank you Guys! please vote and reesteem this if you have only time.
Godbless us all!