Dear Diary: Things That I Am Grateful for Today
Yesterday I was just feeling so "Toxic" as they defined it in the dialysis world. It is the feeling of either you are having a hypertensive crisis, so nauseated and vomiting, or so waterlogged that you cannot breathe anymore, etc. But yesterday I was feeling so ill that I had this bitter taste in my mouth and that usual urea-like breath that I am somewhat smelling and it just don't want to make me eat. I was also a bit waterlogged.
It is a bad body feeling so to say and only patients knows what I am talking about. But for many years I had endured that situation where the feeling of "ill" all through the years just made me tough and it made me handle it with patience and that is why I always kept my calm and do the necessary things not to make anything worse.
But yesterday after finally getting hookked to the dialysis, and since I am using a better filter "Dialyzer" that make it pass the bigger moleculed waste products from my body. It "magically" just makes you feel well again. You then get your appetite back because you no longer had this lingering "urea breath" that you are having. After actually one hour after hook-up you can already feel the cleaning action based on the filter and how fast they spin the blood flow around you and the machine.
I couldn't be more grateful and thankful each and everytime I get dialyzed because I am getting a rescue from a possible death if I didn't have it. I don't like itt being in this situation actually, nobody does. It doesn't make you normal again. You couldn't go to places easily because you need to get your dialysis no matter what ad skipping it is not an option.
For one thing , being a dialysis patient, if not for these bone changes made me weak and thin physically and is coupled with hypertension. The effect is you cannot do normal things like other people does like for doing strenuous sports. I could have done basketball or soccer if only I had a healthy body.So a lot of options in this life was crossed out for me but some options I had discovered that I maybe liked doing like what STEEMIT is giving and it is a slick way to find help and discover real friends all over the world.
I love writing my world, yesterday I also managed to submit some post even though I felt so ill because I need to use my time for a productive way and there is nothing that I can do for the moment except writing. I can also write when I am in pain and what I do is to rest a while and then go for it again until I could finish a post.
Dialysis and STEEMit community, a reason to be thankful for. One for giving a chance to live and the other one giving a reason to live and make it better for someone, even in a far a away land, with no hope in sight but only at STEEMIT. God help me and God bless friends at steemit community.
This is something very inspiring. I TOTALLY admire your transparency. You are quite a beast.
My biggest insecurity is that I am blind in my left eye. All the pain I have had to deal with on a daily basis, for the past 12 years. It's been quite a journey. I was insecure about myself and my beliefs up until a year ago.
I used to be so lonely. Even though I had friends, I always had that voice in the back of my head telling me that I was an outcast. See, over the years, my eye got a little lazier. Also, since they removed my lens in that eye (From the torn retina), it is attached to the directional sense of the other eye.
With this being said, whenever I look in the mirror, I cannot see what everybody else sees. So I have always been left in suspicion.
It was about 9 months ago, when I started studying personal development. I got hooked. I can safely say that today, I am a different person. Like, 180-degrees completely the opposite.
You know what changed? I realized one thing. Nobody cares about my feelings. Everybody is living their own lives, and they all have insecurities. I decided from that point forward, F*ck the haters. They don't run my life. I run my life.
If someone has an opinion about me, they can go and shove it. You know why? Because all this shit that has happened to my eye, it's not my fault. So why must I be blamed, when I am innocent?
Now I look at you, and I see my insecurities, 10X. For that, I commend you my man. You are one tough dude. Go for GOLD, and prove to the assholes in this world that looks have nothing to do with success.
Peace.
Thank you for the support @enazwahsdarb
I really share your views. Fuck the haters because they don't run our lives haha, true.
And all you said are true.
God Bless you my friend.
I know that toxic feeling. Sorry you were feeling like that way.
It's a weird relationship with "the machine". You despise it so much at times, yet if it wasn't there you'd be dead. You have no choice but to be thankful for it.
I think the people who invented the dialysis machine will go to heaven. The thing saved countless lives already.
I had suffered to that toxic feeling @lizzyib for many years. T_T
There MUST be a way to make a dialysis machine that does not make you sick, some way to replicate the kidneys function, i read that dialysis is only replicating 10% of the kidney function, we need to work on medical technology with more labs and more people who can just sit around all day and do work and experiments and we just need open source science and enough money to support people who can do science and work on this stuff,
Yes dialysis machine cannot take out some toxin substances that makes people ill in the long run and it only somewhat prolongs the life of a patient, not a replacement because kidneys have a lot of function besides taking extra water from the body.
We wish for scientists to discover a kidney replacement though but maybe in other ways better than dialysis is ok too.
I remember reading yesterday that there is a schedule, and when it broke everyone was pushed back.
Do they only have one machine at the centre?
There are 8 machines and two got broke so it affected everyone's schedule.
you are in my prayers
Never thought I'd see such strength in a person, you are an inspiration
Thank you for your kind words.
Well wishes from Michigan!
Thank you for the support @old-guy-photos
:)
our hearts and prayers is always with you @cryptopie. wishing for your fast recovery.
Your prayers are all appreciated my friend @gabriellasam
I am so glad the dialysis helped today. Has the clinic got new machine? is the kidney disease caused by the bone disease or vice verse. Cheers. :)
Hello @trixi88 The machines will only be repaired.
My bone condition is a complication of being on a dialysis for a long time with a mediocre health care.
Thank you for your time @cryptopie and the information. I love to follow your story. :). sending hugs.
Its an important topic. The post is too good.
Stay Blessed Bro....!!!