The F@$king Cat

I never had a cat when I was little. My family were always dog people but when I moved home from Germany we were both working and wanted a pet. A dog would of been lonely because we weee gone all day. A cat was perfect. So we went to the rescue Home place and got a six month old cat . The cat was very friendly straight away and made himself at home as if he was there for ever. We called the cat Jeff after a football show commentator called Jeff Stelling.

Within a few weeks I was a cat person. Meself and Jeff became great friends. Jeff is a Tomcat. He is not big but long. We started noticing a few personality traits about Jeff. The first one was that he wasn’t afraid of dogs. He would stand his ground and prepare the claws if needed and if the dog approached he would always strike the first blow. You could see the dogs were puzzled that he didn’t run away. “What am I meant to do now “ thought the dog. When they approached they got a claw in the snout.

He’s an excellent killer. Cats are known to bring presents home but this guy is a machine . I am writing this post because he returned at least 7 dead animals a week. 1 a day. To say thanks for taking him in . He came home with a rat one day and the neighbours thanked us because they had a rat in their shed and Jeff hinted it down. I’d say there isn’t a mouse within 100 metres of the house. The picture above is the hole the dog dug him so he could stalk birds near the food bowls. Genius from the dog. The photo below is his latest catch an hour ago.

We got the cat a bell to stem the bloodshed and the surprises in the kitchen but the vet told us that the bell only made him a more stealthier killer. 😂😂😂.
It’s coming to the point now that the crows in the neighbourhood are dive bombing him as if he is Satan. It’s hilarious to hear the commotion in the morning when Jeff decides to leave the house and walk down the road. It is like something from a Stephen King novel.

I always walk the dog in the morning before work. A short one around where I live. Leave the front door open as my town is pretty safe. Anyway I was half way around and I see Jeff with a pigeon in his mouth. I looked at him and he looked at me . We both ran. The door was open. We both knew it. The fucking cat bet me to the house with his prey . Chased him around house. Had to get the dedicated glove out to dispose of the pigeon normally missing a head. He loves an aul head.

The third thing about him is he is really friendly. Half the neighbourhood is feeding him I’d say. There was a neighbour up the road last summer trying to find out who owned a black cat. The cat had jumped in their kids upstairs bedroom window at 2am and frightened the life out of their 7 year old and 5 year old. We kept a low profile in this case but the cat is the problem child. The Rottweiler is a saint compared. But we still love our first born . We introduced the dog later on and Jeff showed him the ropes