Dear woman who was hit by my daughter’s applesauce while at Target,

thehousewife (55)in #parenting • 8 years ago (edited)

First of all I am sorry. It sucks to be hit by an unidentifiable flying substance while standing in the Target food court line. I hope that didn’t ruin your day, but I really didn’t deserve that hideous glare you gave me that made me feel like pretty awful about myself. Now don’t worry- I understand where you’re coming from. I used to be you, I used to be the one who gave condescending looks to the parents of the rowdy children at restaurants or those throwing tantrums at the store. But that is before my life changed forever. That is before I had one (and then two) of my own. I thought I would be stricter, more in control and more patient than those other parents. (Don’t get me wrong: there are plenty of parents who really are pretty awful at their jobs and their children’s actions are probably mostly due to their inability to discipline or to provide a safe and stable environment) That being said, we can’t usually tell what kind of parent and what their struggles are just by witnessing a small snapshot of their day.

If we just knew a little more about those parents, the parents like me, we might stop the glaring and instead offer a hand to help. We might be a little less judgmental and a little more forgiving.

I want you (lady of Target) to know that I haven’t always been that mom who lets her child fling food on others. I used to worry free. I mean, I had worries back then, but nothing compared to the stress that I have faced everyday of my life since giving birth to my first born. I blame a lot of that on hormones and my genetic makeup, but really, taking care of kids is exhausting, trying and just plain tough!

I want you to know that I used to be proud of my daily accomplishments. I used to be much more confident in myself. I had outside affirmation that I was doing well in my life. Now I have none of that. I wish their was a GPA for mothers or an award show to honor us for things like keeping our children alive or for getting them to eat one vegetable a day. Then at least I’d have something to help me gage how well I’m doing. But there isn’t so I’m stuck in the trenches of motherhood, wondering “when will it get easier?”, “am I doing this right?” or “am I good enough?”

Finally, I want you to know that I am trying my best. I am making sacrifices that I hope are the right ones. I am staying home with them because I hope that I can teach my children how to be decent and kind people. I am hoping that my influence in their early years will be a force for good for the rest of their lives. I hope that I am raising my children to contribute to society and hopefully be a light in a world that is so dark sometimes.

So Target lady please forgive me but also keep your glares and condensing looks to yourself. Good thing tomorrow’s another day and hopefully I can keep my children from throwing food next time we are at Target or any other store. :)