Raising an Independent Person

Parenting is an art, not a science. Every child is different, so not every parenting technique should be the same. But one thing that is always wrong is authoritative parenting. The, 'I know best' and 'do what you're told' type, where parents dictate their children's lives and don't take into consideration what the child wants, is wrong.

As a parent, you are going to be wrong sometimes. You won't always know what's best. Sometimes you're going to have to trust your child and face the consequences, good or bad. Popping out a baby and then feeding and housing them doesn't qualify you to be their boss, and especially not an infallible one. To be a parent is to care for, guide and protect your child. Nowhere in the job description does it say you have to control them, shape them into your idea of what a child should be.

Don't treat them like slaves wither. Children are vulnerable. They're going through the most important time of learning, and they rely on their parents for help. They trust you. They come to you with questions, but they don't ask for their freedom to be taken. Children need the room to learn and grow on their own, just as much as they need their parents' guidance. Letting them make mistakes is a valuable lesson in itself. Don't take them from them, but be there to help them solve it, and encourage them along the way. When you make all their decisions for them, you are not raising a leader, but an obedient little slave that will conform to the world instead of having integrity. And that is, if they don't despise you and rebel instead - which is more often than not the case.

Obedience is the last trait you should value in a child. Sure, it makes parenting easy, but what are the effects later on in life? Do you want your child to stand up for themselves, or do what they are told? Values start in the household, and as the role model and key influencer in their lives, you should put aside what you want for a moment and see how your parenting style will shape them.

Are you raising an independent person, Someone who can evaluate their circumstances and come up with their own solutions? Are you raising someone who will be able to asses situations and figure out what is best? Are you raising an empathetic person, someone who will sit down and listen to a person, and take their feelings into consideration? Are you raising a good person? Are you raising a strong person?

Most of the child personality was decided before they were even born. Learning is an inevitable part of life, and they will do it with or without you. Shaping sounds a lot like molding, where you have this idea in your head of how you want your child to be, and then you force them into it. Individuality is important. Give your child the freedom to be who they are, but be their guide. Their protector. Their role model.