10 Things I Will Teach My Son

My little boy arrived earlier than expected. After two nerve wracking weeks at the NICU, he came home, all hale and hearty, albeit a little lighter than other babies. Throughout my pregnancy I wondered what my baby would look like. As soon as I held him in my arms, I started wondering how he’d grow, what he’d learn, and how I’d raise him. He’d surely go to school and get a good education, but I would like my baby boy to grow into a considerate and compassionate human being. Here is what I’d specifically teach him, so that he grows up a better person:

You are not entitled:
You are not entitled to get everything that you wish. You are not entitled to get your father’s or my or your grandfather’s money and assets. That said, you will get all that you need and more if our finances permit. You will get an education and have a career. You will learn how to earn in order to live comfortably on your own.

Strive for gender equality:
Gender bias is a sorry truth. There is discrimination between men and women in many aspects, more so within Indian families. Strive to be an “Equalist”. Treat women as your equals, in both your professional and personal lives. By the time you join the workforce, hopefully glass ceilings for women will cease to exist. At home, you will see your mother doing several things, but understand that your mother is not your slave. Neither is your sister. Nor will be your wife. Learn to do things by yourself. Pick up after yourself, put your things away, make your bed, help with the cleaning and washing.

Respect everyone:
Everyone deserves to be respected. This means respect your friends, family, and acquaintances. Respect women and men alike. Bad language and behavior are unacceptable. You will be a considerate person and a compassionate human being.

Cooking is a life skill:
Learn all those skills which will allow you to survive on your own. Which means, learn how to cook, sew, fix things, drive, swim and most importantly, adapt to the changing world. Be an independent person in all ways.

Care for others:
Learn to care for people around you. Care for your family and friends when sick. Visit people at hospital, cook for them, and empathize with them. Care for your baby when you have one. Feed, change, and care for your children as much as your wife would. Be sensitive to other’s needs and feelings.

Express yourself:
Learn to recognize and express your feelings properly. If you are upset and feel like crying, cry out. There is no shame in boys crying. If you are angry, express your anger in appropriate words. Expressing anger through profanity is unacceptable. If you are happy, share your happiness. If you are confused, speak with a friend or someone who can provide clarity. Once you know how to express your feelings appropriately, you will be a content person.

Understand “NO”:
Understand the value of a person’s consent. You will not touch a person without their consent. Know that there is a “personal space” between people and learn to respect it.

Be creative:
Be imaginative, creative, pursue a hobby or more. Learn to write, sing, dance, play a sport or a musical instrument, paint, sketch, sculpt……for creativity is the essence of life. Channelize your energy into crafting something beautiful.

Be grateful:
Mind your Ps and Qs. Say thank you if someone gets you a glass of water or does something for you. Be grateful to people around you. Say please if you need something.

Read:
Read, just about anything that you can lay your hands on. Be a seeker and dispenser of knowledge. Be inquisitive and enlighten yourself. And put your knowledge to good use, for constructive purposes, to help others around you.