To ALL The Moms Who Swear

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again:
I feel like a character out of Bad Moms. That doesn’t make me a bad mom, it makes me real and raw and human.

We become moms and suddenly feel we have to change who we are; become this cookie cut-out Stepford wife. The pressure to not fuck up is immense and the advice on how to perfectly raise a perfect child is perfectly overwhelming and, in all honesty, perfectly annoying. This advice is often given by well-groomed single yuppies who seem to think that a few Google articles and the fact that their best friends sister has a kid suddenly makes them an expert. Ok sure, perhaps we’ve had to give up the random party nights, our gin and tonic habit, smoking, and the jump-in-your-car-and-just-drive road trips but do we really need to give up who we are, entirely??

I felt I had to be perfect…but then I craved salami during my pregnancy. I ate sushi twice. I smoked for the first month and a half because I didn't even know I was pregnant. I didn’t play Mozart to my tummy because I prefer All Time Low, Dream on Dreamer and 21 Pilots. In fact Heathens has become a bit of a lullaby and my girls fall asleep in the car to rock or trance better than to white noise or a music box version of Pop Goes the Weasel.

My girls are now seven months old and I still drink coffee…with caffeine. Yes, you heard me: CAFFEINE. because let's be honest, how else would I still be sane and alive? I breastfeed and eat chocolate (OMG gasp). I fed my babies scrambled egg off my plate this morning. I mix BLW (baby led weaning) AND puree feeding. I don’t nap when my babies do because let’s be real here, you never know if they’ll be napping for 20 minutes or 3 hours and the anxiety of lying down listening for that little waking up noise is worse than the actual sleep deprivation. My place has been taken over by tiny pants, tops, onesies, a plethora of wet burp clothes (sometimes my clothing does the job too) and I only get a decent shower twice a week. I often joke about giving away whichever twin is annoying the shit out of me at that given moment. And I left my one twin to cry a bit the other day because I needed to pee and she wasn't dying.

And yet somehow, I'm raising two healthy, happy, thriving girls who smile and laugh as much as their parents do. I hear about how my generation was raised on rooibos with honey, on cough syrup with alcohol in it, on morning cartoons and full vaccination schedules (gasp) and sugary teething biscuits all whilst being allowed to sleep on our tummies; yet we survived . This new fangled "perfect mom" thing is ridiculous. Mommy-ing is fucking hard. It's exhausting. It's a mix of loving and wanting to throttle your children on a daily basis, so why do I now also have to be pressured into feeding my kids organic food ONLY whilst cloth nappying and making sure they never come into contact with cellphone radiation, and god forbid I should vaccinate. I know my children chose me because I am exactly the mom they needed and as long as I am loving my babies and doing my best, then I'll give myself a big pat on the back. I'm nowhere near perfect but I love my girls more than life itself and I will always try my darndest to do my best for them, and that is what matters above all else in my opinion.

Now give this advert a watch, because that was actually what inspired me to write all this in the first place:

This Hilarious Ad Goes Out To ALL the Moms Who Swear - http://twentytwowords.com/this-hilarious-ad-goes-out-to-all-the-moms-who-swear/?utm_source=socialmob2&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=influencer&utm_content=295