Grandma Gave Them Pudding and Pie

Humorous versions of children’s songs and rhymes

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Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

As a Pre-K teacher and nanny, I found myself creating alternate versions of children’s songs and rhymes. (For myself, not for the children). Sometimes we need to choose fun over frustration, to maintain our sanity. For me, it was inventing silly poems in my head while trying not to scream.

This little collection is for adults with a sense of humor, especially exasperated adults caring for toddlers. Especially parents of toddlers. After the grandparents, teachers, and nannies have spent time with your little one, they are yours for better or worse. Yours to love, boogers and all.

When they’re having a post-grandparent sugar crash

Inspired by the nursery rhyme, “Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie”

Grandma gave them pudding and pie.
Why does she want to make them cry?
When they came home to me today
I really wanted to run away.

When they pick their nose

Inspired by the song, “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”

The itsy bitsy finger
Went up her nostril quick
Out came the booger
She gave a little flick
Stuck on the wall now
The booger stares at me
I don’t really care much
I’m too desperate for sleep

When it’s time to go (anywhere)

Inspired by the nursery rhyme, “Jack be Nimble”

Please be nimble
Please be quick
Please can we get on with it?!

When they can’t find their other shoe

Inspired by the song, “Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?”

Where, oh where has my other shoe gone?
Where, oh where can it be?
I was running away when Mom threw it to me.
Where, oh where can it be?

When it’s way past bedtime

Inspired by the song, “Hush Little Baby”

Hush little baby, give me a break.
Mama needs sleep for goodness sake.
If you’ll only close your eyes
I can go pour a glass of wine.

Whether you’re wiping snotty noses, searching for shoes, or drying their tears I hope you can smile at the lighter side of parenting. Access your inner poet and you’ll be rhyming before you know it! Afterall, someday you may be the grandparent filling them with sugar and sending them home. Revenge is sweet.

mininthecity is the pseudonym of a writer who is passionate about sustainable living and cycling. Sharing words and photographs as an entrepreneur is her dream lifestyle. She writes personal stories with insights about human development, travel, sustainable living, education, nutrition, nature, mental health, and more. Powered by nature and nutrition, mininthecity rides through the world on two wheels. Catch her writing on Steemit and at www.mininthecity.com.